Post Mortem 3

We were both silent. Inside our hearts we had a million things to say; fresh wounds that bleed out the blood of spent time, of love shared, and of the oneness of souls. Life to a relationship.

I wanted to say so much about how I had loved her, and how I miss her so very badly.

She wanted to say how much time they had spent laughing together, of all the intimate knowledge of each other that only each has known of the other.

"Mike, look for a prayer na. We need to start praying later... but he has to know first. He has to know before we start praying."

The Missa pro defunctis. The Requiem in D minor. The finished portion an Aeterna; Glory to God and His creation! There is so much of life to live! This, an understanding of the vastness and majesty of creation. This was a rendering of hope, and of possibility. Mozart's last insertion into the piece though was an incomplete Kyrie. An unfinished cry of "LORD! HAVE MERCY!" It is time taken away from where it is needed most. "I know."

"Mike, look also for a picture of her... It doesn't need to be recent."

The portraits of two women stand in our altar. Two of the five most influential women in my life have died. It pains me to add a third portrait. Mortality is the true test of Hope. Gabriel Marcel had said that to one who loves, the object of love, in their minds shall never die. It is not a matter of soul, or of memories, but rather a belief that as long as you, beloved, live; I hope so strongly to the point of belief that you and I will love eternally. Then of course the beloved dies. The hope of "though shall not die" dies with the beloved, but beyond that hope is the hope of moving forward; being more than I had been with beloved. "Sure, I'll take care of it."

Silence.

"Mike, are those fireworks?"

You have been a deep rooted part of me. Through me, they will know our story. You were beloved since the first day I had known you. I mourn your loss, but celebrate more your being. Be my flare in the night sky. Goodbye.