May Day

"Pasapak nalang kuya. Kahit is lang. Kahit malipasan ng gutom. Pasapak lang."

Keeping awake at night has never been one of my favorite things. The truth is, that although I don't mind staying up for academic reasons, on the rare occasion that by no personal will, Morpheus passes me by in forgetfulness or by a twisted sadism, I feel terrified. In the still of night, children have darkness and the prerequisite creatures to fear. Tanods fear thieves and drug addicts. Fathers fear of piling bills and the increasing cost of gas. Students worry of tomorrow's exams. We all fear that which can directly hurt us. It's all phenomenological. They all fear specific. I fear l.

I fear, that on days when I do not fall asleep, I skip a few developmental stages and suddenly turn 50. I worry as if my life had passed me by, and there was no way I could bring it back. I feel as if sudden wisdom was gifted me from heaven, on the day I was to die. Reality seems so clear now, but I have no power to do anything about it.

I know better. It's time to save the world.

Shakespeare was wrong.

This is not a stage, and we are not players.

The farce stopped when the suffering bore true.