Yearbook Write-Up: Mic Needs Writers

I've decided that my yearbook write-up would be written by other people.

I ask YOU, dear invited friend to write your thoughts on me.

Make the text short and sweet, but of course, keep it relevant. Don't just write singular cliche words like "nice" and "chubby." Write a clear precise paragraph that you think best describes me, with an underlying theme of who I am and who I can become.

I need your writeups in a week's time (deadline July 22) so that I can take in the most significant bits and forward it to a 3rd party editor, again one of you dear invited friends, so they can write a succint paragraph in 20 lines, font size 10, within 2 inch borders on all sides.

I will then make the final edit.

Please make time to fullfill my little request :)

Books.

I've finished ALL of Sedaris' books... :'( What's a fan of sabaw comedic autobiographical essays to do?

Well... there's always that growing stack of books in my room...

I could finish the Diary of Sister Maria Foustina Kowalska...
Start reading my OWN copies of Nolan's 2 books...
Reread Vatican 2 (yeah right...)
Start on Immortality by MIlan Kundera...
Finish Fr. Bu's Hypnotherapy book...
Cracks in the Parchment Curtain maybe...
Start on Dance, Dance, Dance...
Murakami is another author whose books I've almost all completely read...
Buy and read that book by Ken Wilbur that I've been eyeing...
Read my Th151 readings (haha maybe later...)
AbPsych...
Organic Chem. Yeah, DEFINITELY Organic Chem...

I had my Fully Booked member card renewed!!!! 10% discounts are fun, but I was given a 20% discount coupon as well... Which book to use it on... hahaha ciao tutti arivadecci che bediamo domani.

Alternative Preferences

I payed a visit to PEx today... Then I saw this curious little forum called "Alternative Preferences." WTF is "Alternative Preferences?" It seems it's the new PC (note to idiotas: Politically Correct not Personal Computer) term for gay. Is homosexuality the only "alternative" preference? Well, I guess if I were a zoophile, I could post there too... hahaha I'll try that... I'll post a thread called, "What's the hottest animal you've ever f*****?" Let's see what happens... mwahaha!!! Or maybe a thread called, "hottest corpse you've ever kissed?"

Why Did You Leave Me Hoping

And now I'm left trying to understand it
The faults you find hidden inside of me
I hope you understand that you're the only one
I care for, hopelessly

It's fresh to mind, the promise that you made me
Promises that you would never leave
And at your parting you simply left my heart exposed
waiting on you, endlessly

Chorus:

Never to heal from the pain you gave me the day
that you left though you promised you won't go away
Weren't you the one who made up your mind, to decide
to be the first to avoid me?
Why did you say you would never leave me?

In my head your voice, it haunts my memory
I feel it in my skin, a silent breeze
as if you're always there always around me
watching silently

*Repeat Chorus

Never to heal from the pain you gave me the day
that you left though you promised you won't go away
Weren't you the one who made up your mind, to decide
to be the first to avoid me?
Why did you say you would never leave me?
Why did you say you would never leave me?

Schedule and Tuition Complaints 1st Sem 2009-2010

Time	M	T	W	H	F
1000
1030	Ch25-B	Th151-I	Ch25-B	Th151-I	Ch25-B
1100	C205	Bel310	C205	Bel310	C205
1130	Ph103-Z		Ph103-Z		Ph103-Z
1200	Bel208	Psy112-C	Bel208	Psy112-C	Bel208
1230		PsyLab	Ch26-B	PsyLab
1300			C209
1330		Psy113-B		Psy113-B
1400		CTC118		CTC118
1430
1500		Ps14-B		Ps14-B
1530		F304		F304
1600
1630
1700
1730
1800

The Sesquicentennial Year.

150 years of the Ateneo.

First Semester: 22 units.

75 thousand pesos.

WTF!?!?!?!?!

Ordinaire Deux

Prequel: http://mikecab.multiply.com/journal/item/355/Ordinaire

Then in your tiredness, fallen, you drifted to sleep.

In gentle breaths, it was as if your advocacies and hypocricies were non existent. I watched as light gave way to dusk and the night, and stars shone upon the sullied walls, the empty streets we used to haunt. With every breath, vapor seen on cold nights, and the rise and fall of your chest, the sweat drying, slick oil that shines in faded starlight. Your hand beneath your head, and another on your stomach's arch. Fingers, stained in spray color, and the scent of paint and perspiration wafting through the air. In that moment, beyond your words and our hopeful wishes, beyond our ironies and faults, was the silence I dared to break.

I know I've said not much, but know that now, as I speak, I know precisely what to say.

You. You are my frustration. This. This is my sublimation. I loved you, whoever you were, and whoever you would turn out to be. I loved you beyond the words, the art, and the anarchy.

summer assesment

The Semesteral Post of... Uber Thank-ness

It's a DAY before grades come out, and NONE of my professors (excluding the senior subject professors) have uploaded grades yet. It's just like them.

Anyway... I would like to give a shout out the the following people:

Fr. Jaime Bulatao SJ and Ma'am Gari Ramos of Psy115. A lot of people told me this would be useless, but I beg to differ. I still use hypnosis 'til now, and I have 2 constant patients and a freelancing patient. Plus, the rods do help in finding misplaced stuff.

Fr. Tony De Castro SJ of Hi165. In my eyes, History will never again be seen as inanity and subversion. Paradigm shifting complete I guess.

Harvey Keh of Th141. I'm rereading the book because I feel my theoretical understanding of Social Theology is inadequate, mostly my fault, but of course I am thankful that you opened up to us your experiences, and the experiences of our people. I could ask for no better praxial professor of Theology.

Ate Bench of OSCI. Immersion was overwhelming, and I learned about so much as I reflected on my experience. Thank you for facilitating my epiphany.

Sir Russell Julian of Bi149. I swear, your tests rock. They're fun and challenging, as was the way you handled the course, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Ma'am Shy Baquiano of Psy108. I owe you a great apology. I, and the class in general gave you less credit than was due you. Looking back at the sem, the methods of teaching were problematic, but that is developed over time. I realized that you taught us well, and that among all the Psych subjects I've had, I remember the terms better under your instruction, and Ma'am Cara's.

Ma'am Tash Teran of Ch11. I owe you an apology as well. I'm just not a very good morning person. I pray you find comfort, and I pray your mother does as well... come what may, may she, as you, be comfortable and happy. You're still my favorite teacher. My inadequacy is my inadequacy. You are a great instructor.

T-Shirt: Male Version

ey, let me tell you know.
ohhhh girl.

trying to decide, trying to decide if i,
really wanna go out tonight.
i never used to go out without ya,
not sure i remember how to.
gonna be late gonna be late but,
all my bros gon have to wait cause,
your leavin' me made me feel like shit
i tried every pill in my cab'net.

I don't feel right now I'm not with you,
sick of this tux and my favorite shoes.
don' wanna go out 'coz I hurtin' too,
Just wanna get off when I think of you.
ima step out of my Escalade, go back
to my room and masturbate.
in bed i wait, just thinkin' back on times now gone,
oh, with nothing but a T-shirt on.

hey, gotta get goin' gotta get goin' but
i really feel I should stay home.
i thought maybe i'd do some clubbin',
but i couldn't get past the door and,
now i don't know now i don't know if i'm,
ever really gonna let you go and i,
can't forget the feel of your kiss.
The problem is of a weary love missed.

I don't feel right now I'm not with you,
sick of this tux and my favorite shoes.
don' wanna go out 'coz I hurtin' too,
Just wanna get off when I think of you.
ima step out of my Escalade,
go back to my room and mastubate.
in bed i wait, just thinkin' back on times now gone,
oh, with nothing but a T-shirt on.

trying to decide, trying to decide if i,
really wanna go out tonight.
i can't forget the feel of your kiss,
the problem is of a weary love missed.

I don't feel right now I'm not with you,
sick of this tux and my favorite shoes.
don' wanna go out 'coz I hurtin' too,
Just wanna get off when I think of you.
ima step out of my Escalade,
go back to my room and masturbate.
in bed i wait, just thinkin' back on times now gone,
oh, with nothing but a T-shirt on.

(again... I know this is soooo PI, but indulge me... This should be vulgar male version...)

Manong Guard and Friendster

I'm in the CTC net lab. (CTC112, not CTC101. Yes, CTC112 is open)
There's a manong guard beside me.
He's typing his status report.
He's also updating his Friendster account.
He's smiling. He looks happy.
Go manong guard O.o

Sobrino :'(

By the last page, my tears were flowing freely, as if fountains pouring from a well long untapped.

By some strange boredom, I picked up my Liberation Theology book and took a second read at "Awakening From The Sleep of Inhumanity" by Fr. Jon Sobrino SJ. I know the church calls his work dangerous, but I find beauty in his passion. Anyway...

“Little by little, I came face to face with the truly poor, and I am convinced that
they were the ones who brought about the final awakening. Once awakened,
my questions—and especially my answers to the questions—became radically
different.”

“The joy which comes when we
are willing to change our vision in order to see what had been there, unnoticed,
all along, and to change hearts of stone into hearts of flesh—in other words, to
be moved to compassion and mercy."

~

Although we are, wounded, defeated... We are still in a place I call... Home. Thanks so much guys.

Curly Top (Unfinished)

Yesterday, I went to the mall
There I saw my friend Curly Top
He was with some bimbo, shakin' her ass round the second floor
they were holding hands, together in the escalator
at once I called his name out, and when he took a look back
I had to scream my lungs out, Hey! Hey! That's my girl, man!

Hey hey you schmuck why did you take a shot at my girlfriend the slut?
Hey hey you schmuck why did you take a shot at my girlfriend the slut?
Hey hey you schmuck why did you take a shot at my girlfriend the slut?
Hey hey you schmuck why did you take a shot at my girlfriend the slut?

Finality

I had a dream last night that was both self-revealing and a bit melodramatic...
Forgive me if this seems like a stereotypical (as Sanny put it) "Mic Post." I promise, I'm still on sabbatical.

[Fade open lights] [Start scene]

(It's late at night. Mic and Iris sitting on the curb on Taft avenue, directly in front of Beanhoppers. Jeepneys pass them by, and on rarer occasion, a person passes by. Mic is holding a cup in his hand, and is wearing a long sleeve shirt that covers his hands.)

Mic: (sips from his cup and sighs)
Iris: (scoffs)
Mic: (lets out a single strong cough, rubs his chest, then hunches his back in exhaustion)
Iris: Are you okay?
Mic: (nods head and smiles)
Iris: Okay.
Mic: (starts coughing continuous loud straining, hacking coughs)
Iris: [as Mic coughs] Mickey! Mickey!
Mic: (coughing stops, but is still wheezing. He looks into the palm of his hand and sees blood splatters on the sleeve covering his hand.) [Zoom into bllod stain] (he stares non chalantly at the stain)
Iris: Ano problema?
Mic: (shows her the sleeve)
Iris: (freezes in her disbelief) Uuy. Uuuuy! Ano ba! Walang ganyanan!
Mic: E, ganun e.
Iris: (begins to cry) wala namang ganyan! Ano ba! Dali pumunta muna tayong ospital, wala lang yan! (stands to hail a jeepney to PGH)
Mic: (pulls her back down) Wag na. Actually, I'm kinda relieved.
Iris: Bakit naman?
Mic: Mapapakawalan ko na rin itong buhay na to. (looks up at the LRT line) Mabuti na ang mamatay ng unti-unti kaysa yung sa biglaan. Parang 2 months notice before retiring for good. I can finish up all I need to finish up, and I can say good bye to everybody.
Iris: Sandali ang, tawagan ko lang sina Meg at Thea...
Mic: Forget it. Iiyak lang yan.

[Mic wakes up]

What was most unnerving was the fact that I felt a general sense of relief in the dream, and during my waking moments. I did self hypnosis just to try to return to my dream and make sense of it, and self hypnosis concurred with my initial thought, that my feeling of irrelevance has caused me to think of giving up, instead of leading me to do something about it. I'd rather give the world notice that: "Hey, I'm leaving but you never really needed me anyway" than to make use of my capabilities. What's my point in sharing this then? Within this smile lays a man on the brink of losing himself, deeper than he has lost himself before. No one really asks others to make them feel relevant. Relevance is a concept of the self. All I've really asked from anyone is conversation. As I've continually said from the old schizophrenia, up to the current Mikecab: I need to know you.

A Farewell to Mikecab

I realized how annoying it is to constantly have to market my work without actually making it obvious that I am marketing my work. I don't write for myself. I'm not a narcissist. I want to share, and people say, "nah... not worth sharing, and not worth my time." I know I'm didactic, but wtf. I just need to know I'm reaching out to someone. If not, it's all pointless. So there. I guess my work is irrelevant. That so, I am irrelevant. I'm going on sabbatical. I'll read a few notations on creative nonfiction just to brush up, so that one day, maybe, I can be relevant. All works in the near future will either be in the realm of pop literature, or past works. Thanks for all those who supported me over the years, and I'm sorry for taking your time.

This is the end of mikecab. Finally, the schizophrenia and it's subsequent evolutions can cease to exist. It's time for me to possibly develop beyond the anonymity of cyber space... If I can stand it long enough.

goodbye mikecab (multiply and plurk) we had some great times.

Four New Messages

At 3:30 PM I checked my phone, and there were 4 new messages.

4 new messages for me is creepy... It's not the usual 1 "what time is your break?" from your friend, or the "when's the submission?" message from your classmate. It isn't the 2 "come home na." "your lola is here." messages from your mom. Its not the combination of both either. It's that random one extra message that gets me all riled up, esp[ecially since this week is a highly critical week. What could the fourth message be? "why aren't you answering me?" a follow up messge from an overly excited friend? "come home na." A repeated message from your mom? Or maybe it's "OMG we're so dead! so dead! Aliens have attacked Manila ang they're gonna kill us all!!!!!!" A bit exagerrated, but the general theme is 4th message = no good. Today was no exception. *sigh*

Sa May Muro

That's what you get when you let your heart win.
Anong napala mo sa pagkairal mo sa damdamin mo?

Whoa.
Hay naku.

"E, kung talunin nalang kaya natin?"
"Gago, and taas kaya niyan."
"Hmm..."
"O, ano na, uwi na tayo! May pasok pa bukas!"
"Sandali lang."
"Oi! Saan ka pupunta? Tangina naman e!"
...
...
...
"Saan ka nanggaling? Ano yan?"
"Pogo stick and tawag dito."
"Ano naman gagawin natin diyan?"
"Tatalon."
"Auti ka ba!?"
"Bakit, takot ka?"
"Sino ba 'di matatakot diyan! Ungas!"
"Wag mo na nga ako murahin, basta sundan mo nalang ako."
...
...
...
"O ano? sumunod ka rin pala e!"
"...Nasa...Nasa labas na tayo?"
"Oo. Ayan o. Ayan yung tinalon nating pader."
"Edi, nasa lob niyan ang siyudad?"
"Malamang."
"Wala na tayo sa loob?"
"E kung sapakin nalang kaya kita."
"Masaya naman ako e... Pero, ano nang gagawin natin ngayong wala na tayo saa loob?"
"Edi... mamahalin kita."
"Wala nang aangal?
"Wala."
"Wala nang taguan?"
"Wala."
"O siya. Mahal na rin kita."


tinginingining yan >.<.

files files

Man-dates: Medjo P.I.

Man-dates. They're like man boobs. (wtf >.<)
Sana hindi makalimutan ni Anjo date namin bukas
Hindi pa siya nagtetext e.

UY! Siyangaps! Napanood ko ang Ateneo Fencing Team kanina! (shout out kay Chan! Naks nakalaro ka na rin!) Congrats sa mga nanalo sa UAAP 71 Fencing Tournament! Galing ninyong lahat! (kahit na di ko talaga maintindihan yung sport na yan T-T) ESPADAHAN NALANG!!!!!

Alam kong nagloloko lang si Joel nung sinabi niya sa akin na sumali ako sa Judo team kasi kulang sila sa mga heavyweight (bigatin ng Katipunan!) pero nung inisip isip ko... yuck. weird ng sout ng judokas... plus isang haplos lang sa tagiliran ko titili na ako ng parang babae. saan ka nakakita ng judokang ganun?

mula sa http://www.fmylife.com:

"Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML."

kawawang bata. Mas nakakatakot pa yung nang makita ng buong team ang kanyang galititi ay nag stay pa sila sa shower na kasama ni gago. Naks edi team= 1 gago= 0 .

Andami kong gagawin. Nagpapakabaliw lang ako ngayon. Toodles!

Dedicate Home (Sharing Observed Poverty) Conclusion for Now

A Personal and Observed Poverty: A Narrative (Conclusion for Now)

The greatest lessons I have learned as an adolescent were learned within the narrow side streets of Malate. I just thought that although this initial experience was a far 7 years ago, somewhere within my experience, someone can decipher the same lessons I had learned, and maybe find some new lessons of their own. I think this community, these people, and the experience of poverty in general, whether experienced or observed, should be made open to the world, so that more and more we can understand the situation that is shared by a majority of the urban population. Find your own conclusions and make your own solutions, but be sure to share. This is our world, not mine, not yours.