“Feeling Augustinians”

I remember during my senior year of high school in Colegio San Agustin- Makati, I was chosen as the class representative for the St. Augustine Impromptu Speaking Contest. I failed miserably to achieve my desired end, but I did learn something... never read your El Filibusterismo before an English speaking contest... anyway... my point... the question given to us was, “St. Augustine has many titles. He is known as the Greatest Doctor of the Church, the Holiest of the Wise, and the Wisest of the Holy, the Eagle of Hippo, a Barkada Man, and others. What other titles can you give him?” That’s not verbatim, but it contains the main gist... The answer I gave was that Saint Augustine is also the “Saint of Changes.” This is because he practically morphed from horny happy boy (he would’ve been the boy who impregnates the school bitch, and likes to drag race at night at Marcos Highway, yet loves to read and write, and is a consistent honor student...) to holy genius man. Anyway... I argued my point for five minutes, then suddenly muttered “kung datapwat...” super ouch. Again... what’s my point? Ah... It’s that recently I’ve been rethinking the little tinge of bitterness I have always felt towards my high school, and I’ve realized that it really isn’t the teachers that called me and my friends “bitches,” or “feeling magaling,” or “unorthodox and lazy” that made me feel bad, nor is it the administration which was either too conservative or too callous, nor is it the faulty political system, topped of by an absolutely powerless student government, but rather it’s the absolute lack of proper Augustinian pride instilled into us.

Augustinians are popularly known as the nicest guys on earth. From many various testaments of people from practically all universities one can find an Augustinian, we have been voted “Nice Guy School of the Century.” Is this necessarily a good thing? When I took a survey of what a few of the multitude of Augustinians I know liked most about dear old Alma Mater, most of the replies either had something to do with Glorietta, or with the generally “Happy” environment of the school, which fosters camaraderie, etcetera etcetera. When I asked what are they most proud of, being an Augustinian, most again made reference to Augustinians being nice guys. Seems as if everyone forgot the title bestowed upon us... AUGUSTINIANS. We were founded under one of the most influential Catholic orders in the world. We get our name from the great St. Augustine. We as Augustinians are all so proud of this, yet what do we truly know of him? He has a pious mother and a pagan father. His sister became an abbess. He had a son, who died in his youth, and a live in partner whom he wasn’t sure he loved. His best friend’s death left a horrible scar upon his heart. He heard a voice telling him to “take and read.” These are some of the things I have learned of our patron, and most of practically all we have been taught in relation to St. Augustine is along this line... it’s all trivia. We treat him as if he were Kris Aquino. We know ten of his sayings, which we repeat over and over again, although he has volumes full, which he couldn’t even finish editing in his lifetime. How can we even consider ourselves Augustinians... we know NOTHING of what is important to him, NOTHING of what he taught in depth, NOTHING of his wisdom, NOTHING of his philosophy, NOTHING of his love of God. His wisdom is something we should be proud of, yet CSA has never really taught us more than what can be scratched from the surface. This was my greatest disappointment. In kindergarden, Ms. Atienza told me that St. Augustine would help us talk to God. I asked for his intercession a million times, yet... I know nothing about him. I feel like such an ingrate. I also know nothing of the order he established. I know nothing of what they do, and nothing of what they have done. I know nothing about the many saints of the order, and the truly inspiring stories behind each saint. I know nothing of the spirituality wherein the order is based. The Holy Scripture as a primary place of encountering God Discovering God in Community Interiority Promotion of Justice, Unity, Harmony, Peace and Reconciliation Apostolic Service I have never known these as the foundations of my spirituality. They were taught, surely, but they were never highlighted. These foundations, and the various gifts given to us by our Augustinian forefathers and our father Augustine, in form of word, or deed. All of these serve as inspirations. They serve to ignite our flames to uphold the Augustinian values passed on by our patron, “Virtus et Scientia.”

If I could turn back time, and return to the time of the Impromptu Speaking Contest, I would change my answer. Instead of portraying Augustine as the “Saint of Changes,” I would say that he is the “Saint that Augustinians will Never Truly Know.” It’s ironic isn’t it?