Sana Makita Ko Rin

Kung balikan ang aking nakaran, masasabi mong hindi ako ang tipong tao na mahilig sa mga bagay na konektado sa sining Pilipino. Kung ang kabuohan nga nang sining ay wala akong hilig, ano pa kaya ang maliit na bahagi ng sining Pilipino, ang literaturang Pilipino. Masasabi mo ngang ako’y may kiling para sa mga bagay na banyaga, at hindi eksepsyon dito ang literatura. Sa kaunting nabasa ko sa literaturang Pilipino, inakala kong kulang sa kasanayan ang literatura ng Pilipinas. Parang Pare-pareho ang istilo ng pagsulat, pare-parehong didaktiko ang nilalaman, pare-pareho lang ang lahat, at kinakailangan pa nito ng pagsasanay. Iyan minsan ang problema ng mga pribadong paaralan sa Maynila. Minsan, sa kanilang pagisip na mas binibigyang galang ang inggles, ay nakakalimutan nilang ipakita ang tunay na kgandahan ng literaturang Pilipino. Mabuti at naibuksan ang aking mga mata sa iba pang klase ng literaturang Pilipino. Natutunan ko na hindi lamang ang klasikal na mga isinulat ang mga maitatawag na literatura. Mapait ang proseso, dahil hindi ako sanay, pero may natutunan din naman. Ang kasukdulan ng aking makabagong pagaaral ng literaturang Pilipino, ay ang pagbasa ng aklat na “Hindi Man Lang Nakita” ni Mesandel Vertusio Arguelles. Naguluhan ako sa simula, dahil ito ang pinakaunang antolohiya ng mga modernong tula na aking nabasa sa Pilipino. Hindi ko alam kung papaano lapitan ang libro, o kung paano ko babasahin ang mga tula. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ihahambing ang mga tula sa totoong buhay, o ihahambing ba sa ibang mga tula. Hindi ko pa man nasimulan ang pagbasa sa libro, ay hindi ko na ito nagustuhan. Lumabas nanaman ang pagkapraning ko. Pagkatapos ng ilang araw, ay pailang-ilang kong binuksan ang libro. Ito ang una kong nakita: “Bago ang Mundong Ito.” Marapat lang na sinimulan ni Arguelles ang kanyang antolohiya gamit ang tulang ito. Dito binibigyang pugay ang kabuohan ng sangnilikha, at ang walang kamatayan na tanong: “Paano nagsimula ang lahat?” Naguluhan ako sa tula dahil hindi ko maisipan ng todo kung ano ba talaga ang paksa nito. Maraming elemento ang ginamit sa tula na nagbibigay ng marami ring mga mensahe tungkol sa paksa. Hinahanap ng persona ang sagot sa kung saan naggaling ang “inihandog na biyaya: tula.” Dito ko nakuha ang ideya na baka iniugnay ng persona ang tula sa isipan ng sangnilikha. Baka nga ay iniugnay niya ang kagandahan ng lirika sa kagandahan ng paglikha ng diyos. Iniugnay niya ang unang linya bilang ang unang tanda ng mundo, at ang proseso ng pagisip at pagsulat ng tula, bilang isang proseso na nasaisip lamang, pero ang produkto ng pagiisip ay isang engrande, at magnipikong bagay. Gannon ang nakuha kong pananaw sa unang tula, at dumadaang ganoon din ang tema ng marami kung hindi lahat ng mga tula. Dumako naman tayo sa tulang “Linyado.” Dumadaan dito ang panahon. Ang unang instante ng paggawa sa mundo ay tapos na, at ngayon nagsisimula ang pagdaloy ng panahon. Nakikita parin natin dito sa tula na iniuugnay parin ng kamalayan ang tula sa sangnilikha. “Walang hanggan ang linyang ito, hindi matutuldukan.” Nakikita natin ang pagugnay ng mga linya ng berso sa kalakihan ng sangnilikha. Totoo naman na kahit malayo na ang narating ng mga tao, at kahit marami na tayong nadiskubre, at marami na tayong naimbentong teknolohiya para gumaan ang ating mga buhay buhay, ay hindi parin natin maabot ang kadulu-duluhan ng sanglikha. Sa ating paglalakbay sa kalawakan, masasabi nating malayo na ang ating narating, at mas malayo pa ang mararating natin, pero hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa natatapakan ng tao ang tierra sa planetang Marso, at hindi pa natin nakikita ang mga ibang malayaong mga galaxy. Maaaring sabihin na hanggat may utak ang tao, ay makakaisip tayo ng paraan na maka abot ng mas malayo patungo sa langit, pero dahil din sa entropiya (enthropy) ay malamang ay may kaduluhan din ang ating pagkabuhay sa mundong ito. Kung isipin naman natin ang paloob, imbis na palabas, ang pinaka maliit na sukat ng “Matter” ay ang “Superstrings.” Ito ay mas maliit sa mga Atoms, Particles, at Quarks, at naroon sila sa limang dimensyon ng realidad. Dahil tayo sa ngayon ay pwede lamang makaabot sa tatlong dimensyon, ay hindi natin malulubusan ang pagaaral sa mga “Superstrings” at maaaring tayo ngayo’y nasa isang “Intellectual Plateau,” kung saan hindi pa tayo pwede magkaroon ng progreso sa larangang ito. Sa ngayon, ay marami ang ating nadidiskubre, at maraming kaalaman ang pumapasok sa mundo ng tao, pero ang punto ay, tayo rin ay may hangganan. Katulad ng nangyari sa mga “Superstrings” maaaring makarating ang tao sa punto na hindi na natin maintindihan ang kasunod. May limitasyon din naman ang tao. Kahit na sinasabing walang limitasyon ang isipan, ay mayroon din ito. Lahat nang ito ang sinusuri ng kamalayan. Ang kalawakan ng sangnilikha, at ang katotohanan na tao nga lamang tayo. May mga hangganan tayo. May mga sagabal tayong hindi talaga natin maitatanggal. Ang mga susunod na linya: “Sa pahina, sa hapag ng abang, pagaabang sa pagdating ng mutya.” Ang pahina dito ay ang mundo natin, o ang kalawakan, sa mga dimensyong espasyo. Basta, parang ang isang tula, ay isinusulat sa papel, parang ang ating mga buhay, kung tadhana man o sariling kaalaman, ay nakasaad sa isang espasyo. Ang ating tula/buhay ngayon, bilang huwaran, ay nakasaad sa isang malaking papel na tinatawag na “Daigdig.” Ang pagaabang dito ay nagtutukoy sa ating paghahanap ng katotohanan. Nakasaad nga na “Nais kong tukuyin ang pinagmulan ng inihandog na biyaya: tula.” Ito ang ating natural na pagkamausisa sa mga bagay na hindi natin alam. Ang susunod na mga linya: “Kaya lumingon ako at nakita, ang manipis na abot tanaw: maaaring iyon ang unang linya, bagama’t hindi ko matiyak.” Nakikita parin ang ating kagustuhan na makita ang katotohanan. Kahit noong bago pa ang kaalaman ng tao, hinahanap na natin ang rason sa mga bagay bagay, at mga explenasyon ng mga penomena na nangyayari. Kung minsan nga, sa sobrang pagkaatat ng taong mahanap ang katotohanan ay gumagawa gawa nalang sila ng sarili nilang katotohanan. Naipapakita din nito na kahit noong simula ay tinanong na natin kung saan tayo nanggaling. Ito ang isa sa pinakaunang isipan na nakapasok sa ating isipan. Ang susunod na mga linya: “Dahil may malaking kasawian sa gitna ng likha at manlilikha.” Dito ay napasok sa aking isipan ang sinabi ng Norwegianong si Jostein Gaarder, na “Kung meron ngang diyos, ay sana’y linagyan man lang niya sana ng pangalan ang kanyang obra.” Ito ang isa pa sa pinakamatandang kaisipan sa mundo. Matapos isipin ng mga tao, “Saan tayo nanggaling?” naisip naman nila na may mas may kapangyarihan na lumikha sa atin. Ang problema naman ay may mga sagabal sa gitna ng likha at manlilikha. Mga susunod na linya: “Manipis ang abot tanaw, ngunit naroon, ang araw, bundok, ang dagat, ang parang. Naroon ang inibig ko bago ang mundong ito.” Ipinapakita naman nito na kaunti palang ang alam ng tao sa puntong ito, para ngang sinabi ni San Agustin, “ang nalalaman natin ay isang kamay na puno ng buhangin, pero ang kakailanganin pang alamin ay ang buong tabing dagat.”Isinasaad din dito na sa kaalaman natin ngayon ay hindi pa natin malalaman kung saan talaga nanggaling ang mundong ito. Pwede lang nating isipin, pero di pa kayang alamin. Isa pang tula na sumusunod sa ganitong isipan ay ang “Sa Dulo ng Mundo.” Nakikita natin sa mga simula ng libro ang mga tula tungkol sa paglikha ng mundo, at ang paglikha nito. Kung sundan natin ang isipan na ang sangnilikha ay isang tula, ang sinasabi ng nauunang mga tula ay ang diyos ang tagasulat ng tula. Nakikita naman natin dito sa may gitna ng tula na ang tao din ay gumagawa ng sarili niyang tula, na konektado din sa walang hanggang tula na kinabubuhayan niya. Medyo “metafictive” ang tula kumbaga, dahil nakikita natin na ang mga karakter sa loob ng isang malaking tula, ay gumagawa rin ng sarili nilang tula. Nakasaad sa “Sa Dulo ng Mundo”: “Nakaupo ako sa huling pangungusap Ng isang tulang gaya ng inaasahang munting bantas at sa wari ko’y nakaupo sa dulo ng mundo Sa bukana ng di masasabing naghihintay” Nakikita natin na ang persona sa tula ay nasa dulo na ng kanyang buhay, o ng kanyang kakayahan. Nakikita din natin ang bulgar na paggamit ng metapora na tula bilang sangnilikha. Nakikita ito dahil sa linyang “Nakaupo ako sa huling pangungusap.” Nakikita din natin na hinaharap niya ang limitasyon ng kaalaman ng tao, o ang “bukana ng di masasabing naghihintay.” Ito ang isa sa mga katibayan ng argumento ko kanina tungkol sa limitasyon ng tao. Ang mga susunod na linya, “Sa aking likuran, ang lahat na dumaang salita, Bigat na hindi ko makakayang buhatin kailanman,” ay nagpapahiwatig din ng limitasyon ng tao. Hindi niya kakayaning alamin ang lahat tungkol sa mundo. Nakikita din natin ang ideya na ang kaalaman ng tao, na napagtipon-tipon ng panahon, ay hindi kailanman pwedeng alamin ng isang tao. Lahat nang kaalaman ng tao mula sa unang berso hanggang sa dulo, ay hindi maaaring mailagay ng buo sa loob ng pagiisip ng isang indibidwal. E kung ang nalalaman natin hanggang sa puntong ito ay hindi natin makumpleto at maisip lahat, ano pa kaya ang kabuohan ng kaalaman. Ang sunod na mga linya ay parang nanggaling sa librong Rebelasyaon sa Bibliya. “Nilingon ko sila sa abot ng buong pagkaunawa sa anumang pagkakasala na nakapaloob sa pagbuo ng anyo at nilalaman Hindi upang igawad ang pangwakas ng husga at husgahan ang aking kamay na nabahiran ng tinta.” Dito naman nakikita ang pagkatakot para sa mga nagawang kasalanan sa mundo, at ang pagsisisi para sa mga nagawa at di nagawa (omisyon). Maaaring angkop ang anekdota na si San Pedro ay naghihintay sa mga pintuan ng langit upang tingnan kung nararapat nga ba tayong pumasok sa langit. Maaari ding angkop ang didaktikong linyang “nasa dulo ang pagsisisi.” Nakikita parin sa parteng ito ang paggamit ng metaporang pangtula, o sa pagsulat ng tula. Inisip ko sa simula ng libro na maaaring ang diyos mismo ang katauhan sa libro, pero ang linyang, “Hindi upang igawad ang pangwakas ng husga at husgahan ang aking kamay na nabahiran ng tinta” ang nagsabi saakin na imposible ito. Ang tulang ito ay medyo apokaliptik. Ang mensahe ay tungkol sa dulo ng buhay ng tao, at ang pagsisisi sa dulu-duluhan ng mundo. Ang susunod na mga linya: “Batid ko ang takda ayon sa ginagampanang papel, at doon ko ibig mahimlay bilang pagpupugay sa likhang pinagdaanan ng mundo.” Dito naman, sinasabi ng katauhan na ang kanyang “kamay na binahiran ng tinta” na nagsisimbolo na sumunod siya sa mga patakaran ayon sa kanyang “ginampanang papel.” Maaaring sabihin natin na kahit nagsisisi siya dahil sa kanyang mga nagawa at di nagawa, ang konswelo niya ay ang nagawa niya ito dahil ito ang nakasaad na gagampanan niyang papel. “Escapism” pag isipin, o parang baling moralidad. Sabi nga sa “Beerkada,” “Conswelo de Bobo.” Sa Libro, parang may pagkasunod sunod ang mga tula. Para nga ng sinabi ko, nagsisimula ito sa paano nagsimula ang tula. Nakikita ito sa mga tulang katulad ng: “Bago ang Mundong Ito,” “Linyado,” at “Sa Mga Pagkakataon.” Sa may gitna naman, binibigyan puri ang kagandahan ng tula, at patuloy na hinahangaan ang misteryo ng pagkagawa ng tula. Ang susunod ay ang pagtingin sa sarili upang maintindihan ang sarili bilang parte, o tagagawa rin ng tula. sa may dulo naman ay kung paano unti unting nakalimutan, o unti unting namatay ang tula. Sa dulo naman, ay binibigay ang mga pinal na leksyon na gustong ipahiwatig ng persona. Meron lamang isang di ko maintindihan kung bakit nasa gitna, pero dapat, kung tama ang aking pagkasunod sunod, ay nasa may dulohan. Ito ang “Sa Dulo ng Mundo.” Maaaring bagay nga ito sa may gitna, dahil ipinapakita nito ang pagkahinog ng kaisipan ng tao, upang maisip niya naman di lamang ang “saan tayo nanggaling” kundi pati na rin ang “ano ang pwedeng mangyari sa hulihan ng lahat.” Ukol naman sa mga duluduluhan ng libro, kung saan medyo pinal ang tono, titingnan natin bilang example ang “Ilang Huling Salita.” Ang simulang mga taludtod: “May mga bagay na mas mainam kung hindi sasabihin. Hayaan na subukin ang sadyang pagnanasa na maunawaan sa pagitan ng mga salita.” Nakikita dito na parang pinaglalaruan tayo ng diyos. Parang kusa pagiwan niya sa atin sa dilim sa ibang mga bagay bagay. Parang hindi niya tayo binigyan ang kapabilidad na maintindihan at malaman ang lahat, para maihusga kung gaano kalakas ang ating kagustuhang malaman ang katotohanan anong ekstento ang ating mararating para sa katotohanan? Ang susunod na mga linya: “Kung makatitiis na hindi makapagsabi, baka Bukas-makalawa ay sasaatin ang ganap na pagunawa, kung hindi sa tula, ay sa kabutihan ng tula sa santinakpan.” Naipapakita dito na pinaglalaruan nga tayo ng diyos. Tinatago niya ang kaalaman sa atin para nga “sasaatin ang ganap na pagunawa, kung hindi sa tula, ay sa kabutihan ng tula sa santinakpan.” Sabi nga uli ni Jostein Gaarder, “Para tayong mga langgam sa isang langgaman. Ang diyos ay isang batang may magnifying glass na nagoobserba sa ating mga ginagawa-gawa. Maganda naman ang layunin ng kanyang eksperimento, na baka nga mahanap natin ang pagunawa ng tula, o pagunawa sa mga tanong na nakabalot sa misteryosong mundong ito, o kung di man lang, ay maintindihan natin kung bakit ito itinago sa atin. Madami nga namang tanong sa mundo na hindi talaga mahahanapan ng sagot, kaya bakit naman di tayo bibigyan ng rason para mabuhay. Ang rason ay para maintindihan ang buhay, at ang mundo na kinagagalawan natin. Kung hindi man natin maintindihan ito ng lubos, kahit rason man lamang kung bakit hindi natin maintindihan. Isa pang nakakaaliw isipin sa tulang ito, ay ang aplikasyon nito sa Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. Ang sinasabi ng teorya na ito, ay na ang realidad ng tao, ay base sa pagunawa niya, at paggamit ng mga konstrukto ng kanyang lengwahe. Ang maaaring example nito ay ang Pilipino at ang kanin. Sa Amerika, ang kanin, mula pagkapitas hanggang sa pagkaluto at tinatawag na rice. Ito ay dahil hindi sila masyado kumakain ng kanin. Ang kanilang “staple grains” ay wheat o mais. Sa Pilipinas naman, ang kanin ang pinakasikat na staple food, kaya tayo, imbes na isa ang binibigay na pangalan sa kanin ay maraming marami. Ang palay kung hindi pa tinatanggal ang balat. Bigas pag hindi pa luto, Kanin pag luto na, Tutong ang tawag sa sunog na kanin, Sinangag pag pinainit sa mantika na kanin. Marami pang ibang salita sa wikang Pilipino na ginagamit sa araw araw ang konektado sa kanin. Isa pang example nito ay ang salitang niebe. Kaunti lang sa mga Pilipino ang may alam na ang salitang niebe ay “snow” sa Inggles. Ito ay dahil hindi tayo nakakaranas ng niebe dito sa mga tropikal na mga bansa. Sa Alaska naman, mayroong labingapat na salita ang mga Inuit para sa niebe. Ito naman ay dahil importante ang niebe sa buhay buhay nila. Sa mga American indians naman, walang past tense ang kanilang mga salita, dahil naniniwala silang isang paulit-ulit na bilog lamang ang panahon. Naniniwala sila na paulit ulit lamang ang mga araw, kaya dapat hindi na balikan ang nakaraan, kundi ang isipin dapat lamang ay ang ginagawa ngayon. Lahat nga ng meron sila ay ngayon. Sa tulang “Isang Huling Salita,” makikita ang epekto ng Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis sa linyang “subukin ang sadyang pagnanasa na maunawaan sa pagitan ng mga salita.” o mas spesipiko, “sa pagitan ng mga salita.” Dahil ang kaisipan dito ay tinatago ng diyos ang ibang kaalaman para tingnan kung maisip natin ang mga sagot sa ating mga tanong, edi ginagawang parang regalo ang lengwahe. Ito ay dahil ang primerong mensahe ng linya ay para maintindihan natin gamit ang mga salita natin. Nagiging kasangkapan ang salita para maintindihan natin ang mundong kinagagalawan natin, at para maisip natin ang mga tanong na di natin masagot sagot. Ito ang mahika ng salita. Wala tayong magagawa kung wala ang salita. Kung wala ang salita, hindi natin maisusulat ang ating mga kaalaman, o baka nga hindi tayo makapagisip ng mga bagay na hindi lang nararamdaman ng katawan, dahil wala tayong representasyon na maaaring gamitin upang gawing memorya. Hindi rin natin maibabahagi ang ating mga naisip, dahil walang salita, walang sulat, kaya’t hindi magkakaintindihan ang mga tao. Naisabi na nga sa simula na ni isang indibidwal ang kayang alamin ang kasagutan sa lahat, dahil tayo bilang tao ay may limitasyon. Pero, pag maraming tao ang nagiisip at sumasagot ng mga tanong, baka nga ay mahanap pa natin ang sagot sa mga tanong natin. Yan ang maaaring kasukdulan ng tulang “Isang Huling Salita,” baka nga dahil sa salita, ay mahanap natin ang katotohanan. Ang Salita, siya ang susi sa lahat ng kaalaman. Kung mayroong isang katauhan sa buong antolohiyang “Hindi Man Lang Nakita,” ito marahil ang tao bilang parte ng sangnilikha. Nakikita sa buong antolohiya na ang persona ay isa na nagiisip. Ginagamit niya ang metapora ng tula upang ipakita ang kagandahan, o ang nakikita niyang kagandahan sa mundong ito. Siya rin ay parte ng tula, pero siya rin ang nagsusulat ng tula. Makikita ang temang paghahanap ng katotohanan sa marami kung hindi sa lahat ng mga tula sa antolohiya. Milyong milyong taon nang nabubuhay ang mga tao sa mundong ito. Milyong milyong taon din nilang pinagisipan ang mga retorikang di pa nga masagot hanggang sa kasalukuyang panahon. Ang katauhan ay masasabing kolektibong pananaw ng lahat ng naong nabuhay, nabubuhay, at mabubuhay. Ito ang kanilang walang hanggang paghanap, hanggang, baka nga naman, sa tulong nga ng salita, at sa palad din ng diyos, ay matanaw nila nag katotohanan. Sino nga naman ang makakapagakala na sa isang simpleng antolohiya ng labinglimang mga tula ay naglalaman ng karamiraming mga palaisipan. Masasabi nga na nilalaman nito ang buong kasaysayan ng tao, at ang kanyang walang tigil na paghanap. Hindi ko masasabing bago ang mga pagiisip na ganito. Kung masdan lang mabuti, marami nang nauna sa mga isipang ganito, at mas marami pa ang nakaisip na ang mga salita ang pundasyon ng kaalaman. Ano ang kakaiba sa librong ito? Nabasa ko ito. Nabaso ko, at nakakuha ako ng kahit kaunti ng kaalaman ng may akda. Baka balang araw ay ipamahagi ko rin ang aking kaalaman. Kung sa bagay... ako man ay parte ng persona ng antolohiya. Ako ay parte din ng tula. Ako din, ay tagasulat din ng tula. Hindi lang ito ang antolohiya ng mga tula ng may akda, ito ang antolohiya ng aking pagkatao. Ito ang antolohiya ng tao.

Yeba! Halloween!

New Layout! Halloween TS!

Someday Again...

(sips coffee) (giggles) what? nothing... (smiles) that's how it all began... huh? how did what begin? Jokelang... kala niyo itutuluy ko noh? Nah... the next literary piece will be the 10 page paper I wote for Filipino... anyway... finals are over... I haven't slept in days... literally... I tried the expresso shot at starbucks to boost me up... worked for 6 hours... but I had to pee every 3 minutes... HAHAHAHAHA... I liked the "Someday" series... it's postmodern literature...

someday is today

(4 hours later)

(phone rings) (phone rings) (phone rings) (phone rings)

(phone rings) (phone rings) (phone rings) (phone rings)

Dammit! Where the hell are they?

end.

is someday today?

Hey! Wait up! Huh? Oh... Hi... You said we'd meet today, so we will. I need the conversation. Huh? Ah.. Alright... Where to then? The Coffee shop we were at yesterday. (Stunned) Okay...

(sips coffee) There's something I want to tell you... Yeah? (Phone rings) Oh, wait... Hello? (on phone) Have you told him yet? (in whispers) No, but you're ruining it.... oh! well, HURRY IT UP! you've waited long enough! (phone out) (puts phone down) Who was it? Your friend... Oh... do you know that he's been really distant to me lately... after I told him that I liked... (rush of consciousness... short pause) COFFEE! I like coffee too (smiles) (smiles) what coffee's your favorite? I've always liked tall rich mocha blends. I like them hot. (winks) (smiles weakly, then gives a faint huh!) Do you know what kind of coffee I like? What? You.

It's just that... maybe someday.

(sips coffee) ... what was it you wanted to tell me? i don't know anymore... you were always so articulate. Words have never escaped you... even more so... they have imprisoned me. So much is to be said... but the consequences that lie with each breath, each syllable uttered... there is to much to lose. you have never worried of the consequences before... as long as you think it's right, you'll say it... i don't think this is right... it's irrational, and a pain to my being. what is this thing that is reason for your being so... different... one of life's most painful secrets... yet still one of it's greatest joys. isn't it frightening though... imagine me... going through the stages of loss without actually losing... yet... what is it you fear you'll lose? you... i've always been here, and i probably always will. you should know that. i do... then what's your cause of worry? i don't want you to be there... what?... i don't want you beside me... being there... listening to me... have i not been a good friend? tell me whats wrong! no... you've been perfect... too perfect... then... i have to go... i'll see you tomorrow then. i thought you didn't want to see me anymore? i never said that... anyway, i'll see you tomorrow. okay... see you then. (leaves) (dials a number on cellphone) i cant understand him! why? he seems no not want to be friends anymore, but doesn't tell me why... and yet he also tells me he's afraid of losing me. so you're not friends anymore? what? no... we still are... it's weird... don't ask.. why do you put up with him anyway!? coz' i love that sonovabitch... yeah. i know.

The BIG Multitopicpost

Okay! It's time to update...

AdMu Tolerance

If I remember correctly, only Fionna and I were present when Prof. Valbuena gave a make up lecture in Yuchengco. I remember because the only reason we went was bacause Fi wanted to watch her monkey's presentation... Anyway... miss Leah shared her general theory on tolerance with us, that usually agroup with higher socio-economical, or political standing... or even those who are more powerful... have a greater threshold for hurt and insult. Tolerance is the name of the game... The muslims react harshly when their religion is challenged, but Catholics laugh at jokes on Catholicism... African Americans are hurt by any little insinuative remark... White americans care about snot if you insult them... We Filipinos get outragedwhen someone talksagainst us... the Americans don't care... no it's not nationalism... it's tolerance. Anyway, although during the AdMU UST game 3, and immediately after, the Ateneans showed their jologs side by shouting the vilest cuss remarks against the tigers... it did mellow down after a day or so... when we convinced ourselves that they would be cleaning our desks someday ( MWAHAHAHAHA so elitist...) Im kidding.... no, but they did calm down... what of tolerance... according to the theory, UST should be tolerant... yet, when i rode the LRT after the game... theUST people were taunting about 5 of us Ateneans in a huddle at the end of the train.... SO MUCH FOR TOLERANCE OF THE POWERFUL. The tigers made me cry... Im hurt...

Apathy and the ipod

In a world full of wars, bloodshed, and crying... there is only one escape... a new world... which fits exactly your idea of a perfect world... it's all there... in your ipod. :) The ipod and the apathetic youth, a match made in heaven...

Four Days of Fasting

It's been four days without electricity... anyway... what has happened in those four days... It has been a while since I have updated, but let me say that today would be the perfect time to start updating...

Wednesday

My day went by uneventful, except that after my last class, I spent an hour under the freezing rain, waiting for a taxi to bring me to gateway. I needed to buy chocolates for the Ice Cream making activity we were going to have in Chemlab (Ch8). On the way to gateway, I caught wind of the news that there were no classes the next day. I bought chocolates anyway... since if ever there really were no classes... at least I'd have myself some chocolate. I wanted to watch "Twilight Dancers" while I was there, but the movie schedule just didn't fit mine... I ride the LRT2-LRT home, and affirm that there are no classes the next day... I eat my chocolate, then sleep.

Thursday

I wake up, and the wind is howling like crazy... I spent the morning panicking over the loss of electricity... I spent the afternoon cursing meralco... and eating the remainder of my chocolate...

Friday

We went to my cousin's house in Marikina (bordering on QC). The way there was COOL!!!!!! All those fallen trees... There was even this fallen bilboard which destroyed the top floor of the Honda building along EDSA... I can just imagine how much devastation there was... I wished that the stupid TV-bilboard of Makati (the one that's too bright) had been devastated by storm... but it stood as bright and annoying as ever... (FuYu BINAY!!!!) We practically spent the day bumming out there, although electricity was out as well... That evening, I had decided to stay over at their house, since I had a required movie to watch in the Ateneo the next day. My cousins taught me how to play poker... Sleeping there was a big mistake... although I got to spend a LOT of quality time with my cuzzies, and I did enjoy every waking moment of my stay there... I COULDN'T SLEEP A WINK! I slept at 430... woke up at 700... anyway... It was fun...

Saturday

Still no damn light... Ate Gayl brought me to the Ateneo that morning... It was really sad in the Ateneo... all those poor trees... there were branches everywhere!!! It was a battlefield post-battle. My english class watched "The Piano Teacher" as per our class movie critique assignment. The film was wonderful! It was an accurate psychological profile of a BDSM lover... As my professor said, although nothing vulgar was seen, the dialouge and the insinuated scenes gave shivers down... something... The acting was superb as well... There is no doubt the main actors, who played the main characters, won the best actor and actress award at the 2001 Cannes. After the movie, I walked around and saw hundreds of people in Ateneo shirts, or wearing Ateneo hats, getting ready for the game at 400 PM. Instead of watching though, I decided to go back to my cousins' house. Ate Aisa brought me to shopwise to buy undies, since mom ran out of gas, and there was no diesel in any of the gas stations near the house. That meant I had to stay another day in my cousins' house... also since the LRT wasn't working. That evening... I discovered that the LRT was working... so I decided to go home... my uncle forced my twin cousins to bring me home... I told them to drop me off at Gateway instead, so they could just continue on to Eastwood. It was embarassing to have them bring me home yet, since they had some of their LSGH friends with them in the car... It was then I found out what boy's nights out are like... I have never been in a car with only teenage boys inside, so this was a first... It was fun... and boisterous... full of rap... RnB... classical?! My cousins and their friends have a refined taste... anyway... I got home safely... and... THERE WAS STILL NO ELECTRICITY!!!! DAMN MERALCO!!!!!

Sunday

nothing much... skipped mass... got electricity back... am happy... :p kudos guys...

Coins... Coins...

I have a hella lotta bucha coins in my bag, and I don't know where they all came from... it's weird talaga... it's as if my classmates in all my subjects gave me 5 pesos (in 1 peso coins) each... weird!

New things....

got some flash stuff for the blog :) hope u guys like it.... anyway... A gay feng shui/buddhist soothsayer told me I'll be sucessful someday. I'll have 2 opportunities saw... and I'll put up a school, and a foundation... on a hill... and I'll finish 2 courses... and I'll finish either in Singapore, Malaysia, or Indonesia... thats what the guy told me...

Jobz

Alternate Title: "Ole, ole!"

Firstly... someone offered me a job... I was sitting on the steps of greenbelt 1, mumbling to myself because my mother was taking so long, when a man in long sleeves came to me and asked we if I was looking for a job... he went on to explain that a certain call center needed people, and he asked whether I was interested... that was flattering... in a way...

Just to Make Them Stop...

"Have you ever seen your face in a mirror, there's a smile, but inside you're just a mess...You feel far from good, need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand. Have you ever had this wish of being somewhere else, to let go of your disguise, all your worries too, and from that moment, then you see things clear.

I'm okay, I really am now. Just needed some time, to figure things out. Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you. Still we don't know what's yet to come."

-Lene Martin "Disguise"

I'm just really depressed... I feel so alone... I have new "friends," but we're so numerous, it's like I know nothing about them... and I hate not knowing "friends." I miss you guys... bad.

Since ayaw ni Thea

AKO MAGPAPATUGTOG NG HIPS DONT LIE!!!!!!!! It's fuckin stuck in my head... asshead man... the spanish parts turn me on. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA I'm crazy... seriously... ask Thea... HAHAHAHHAHA

"I don't care what they say, I'm loving you anyway..."

alternate post title: Androgyny

Yes! Yet another MTP, since I really have veeeerrrrry little time for privolities.

How can I walk away? I don't care what they say! I'm loving you anyway...

OMG... this song has been stuck in head for days!!! Steps of all bands!!! Ganda naman talaga yung song, at masmaganda pa yung video, pero... STEPS!!! Naalala ko nanaman si she who must never be named e... haaay nako... mag 3 years na kami sa January :p.

Androgyny

I have a blockmate... with a weird experiment... he's gonna try to be as androgynous as possible... He grew his hair, so that he'd look neither male nor female... and has an androgynous attitude already... hmm... lalang... Ateneans are weird.

What's (yet) Another Day

Alternative post title: "Himas"

This is gonna be another MTP (multi topic post) kasi I really don't have much time to update. Agggh... Atenean life is... weird...

Congrats Team Ateneo!

Congrats! You are so galing! NATALO KAYO NG UST!!!! ANO BA YAN!!!! Ang ganda na sana ng weekend ko e... Unang game nyo vs UST nanalo kayo by 20+ points... ngaun... NATALO KAYO!!!! as Yeng loves to say... BADIIIING!!!!!!!!

Ang Bago Kong Block

TR ang pangalan namin... (as in Transferees) grabe... they're all so nice... ang gulo nga lang, kasi wala na silang ginawa kundi mag baraha... HAHAHA... as in... it's either nagaaral kami, o nagbabaraha... may mga times panga mah-jong pa linalaro nila! MAH-JONG!!! Pero anyway... medjo magkakakilala na kaming lahat... and we respect each other will no bias, nor pre existing prejudice... (pero pumasa ako last year ha... di ako bagsak sa ACET.) HAHAHAHA joke lang guys... baka seryosohin nyo naman...

Himas

OMG.... isa pang istorya ng kabaklaan sa LRT... wala kasing mga girls so compartment ko e... grabe... Nakahawak ako sa lower portion ng railing... siksikan kami... biglang may taga FEU (nanaman) na pumasok... edi siksikan nga... tapos saan kaya napadpad ang kanyang nakatagong mga hiyas kundi sa may kaparoonan ng aking kamay... e diba uunga-unga yung tren... edi gumagalaw galaw rin ang kanyang... :) so parang... eww.... hindi ko nman matanggal kamay ko kasi magtu-tumbling lang ako dun... so yun... nakuha na niya ang gusto niya sakin >:p sooobrang nandiri ako nun...

Lebanon and the Oilspill

Remember I told you about the guy who was crying on a bench, because of the crisis in Lebanon? Ateneans are weird... I found another guy who was absolutely raving... he was pissed. He was practically shouting at this friends... because of the Guimaras oilspill... okay... so anyway... They said hair can help out the oilspill, (can it nga ba) and that Reyes haircutters collects hair for the oilspill (do they nga ba)... so some of my Atenean friends and I are going to have our hair cut for the oilspill... as in shave... kahit hindi naman... anyway... maybe you LaSallian people (God and Country...) can help out too! WE NEED TO ACT! somehow... this is one of the only ways I can think of...

Our Chem is PoPpInN!!!!

Chemlab!!!!! (Ch8 samin) It's SOOOO fun I swear! last week, we had the displacement reaction experiment... involving gasses, Hologens, and metals. I swear... As in may slight explosions... yung mga cork namin, tumatalsik talsik... may mga violent color changes... ANG SAYA!!!! Its like Chem lab in the movies... pero super nerd na namin... kasi "How funny naman the Magnesium Nitrate! It released so much displaced Hydrogen, It made a mild explotion w/ matching exothermic heat change!" HAHAHA actual quote yan!

Some Things...

Some things just make more sense than others... Take religion for example. I can't understand why I believe in what I believe in... but there are so many willing to die for their faith... What do they see that I don't see? What do they understand that I can't grasp? Over a span of 2000 years, Christ's name has been, and still may be the single most powerful driving force in this world... Great men and women have offered the one thing they actually own for God... they have sacrificed their life. Whether in form of live-long devotion, or by sacrificing their lives for Christ or for others, in the light of Christ.

The Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. Amen.

Although the prayer is not actually attributed to St. Francis of Assisi, it does in a way put into writing everything that St. Francis believed in... "Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace" The prayer is began by giving yourself wholeheartedly to God... You give up the one thing you value most: your life, so that you may serve as a servant of God's will to others... "grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; " He is willing to take the harshness, the criticism, the pains, the pseudo slings and arrows of being God's chosen, so that he may cease to criticize, but rather understand. So that he would heal wounds, although he himself is wounded. He wants to love unconditionally, as God loves... All this, so that he can show gratitude to God... Modern Logic would call it insane... I find it sort of romantic in a sense... even transcendent.

Prayer for Generosity

by St. Ignatius of Loyola

Lord Jesus, teach me to be generous;

teach me to serve you as you deserve,

to give and not to count the cost,

to fight and not to heed the wounds,

to toil and not to seek for rest,

to labor and not to seek reward,

except that of knowing that I do your will. Amen.

It is in a way Illogical (in a modern sense) to lift oneself up to a creator... The conservatives would say that people do this because they want to save their souls from hell. So, is it just fear of damnation that leads Christians to do "God's will?" That's sort of selfish... but This certain prayer, by everyone's favorite St. Ignatius, shows how much he was willing to give, or how much he was willing to learn, from God... and it's not because he's afraid of hell, but rather because... he wants to do God's will... "to labor and not to seek reward, except that of knowing that I do your will." This is a true offering of one's self... no sense... no reward... although Psychologically man ALWAYS needs a reward... He isn't trying to buy his way into heaven... he just wants to be selfless... thats just weird...

Domine Iesu, Noverim me (Lord Jesus, Let Me Know Myself)

Written by St. Augustine; (354-430) Lord Jesus, let me know myself and know Thee,

And desire nothing save only Thee.

Let me hate myself and love Thee.

Let me do everything for the sake of Thee.

Let me humble myself and exalt Thee.

Let me think of nothing except Thee.

Let me die to myself and live in Thee.

Let me accept whatever happens as from Thee.

Let me banish self and follow Thee,

And ever desire to follow Thee.

Let me fly from myself and take refuge in Thee,

That I may deserve to be defended by Thee.

Let me fear for myself, let me fear Thee,

And let me be among those who are chosen by Thee.

Let me distrust myself and put my trust in Thee.

Let me be willing to obey for the sake of Thee.

Let me cling to nothing save only to Thee,

And let me be poor because of Thee.

Look upon me, that I may love Thee.

Call me that I may see Thee,

And for ever enjoy Thee.

Amen.

"Look upon me, that I may love Thee. Call me that I may see Thee, And for ever enjoy Thee." Magical, how even the "wisest of the holy, and the holiest of the wise" (saying he is a wise man) would give so much up, because he read 1 passage... He gave his life up, and found meaning in a mysterious being... It's like falling in love with a UFO... except, these saints gave up literally everything... so that they may love others. Now here's the choice... do I follow blindly now, so that I may have a chance to see later, or am I too unsure to continue? Discernment's over... I have to decide someday... how about you guys... what do you guys choose to believe in?

What's Another Day

Alternate Post Title: "6 stories"

Okay... This'll be a doozy, since... I haven't updated in sooooo long. I'm reviving the MTP (Multi Topic Post) which I haven't done In a LOOONG time. First on my agenda... is... SORRY THEA!!!!! nakalimutan ko Flash Disk ko sa bahay... SORRY TALAGA!!!!! Next, get well soon para kay Sanny, since may Typhoid parin siya... lets all pray for her quick recovery.

Commuting with your ears plugged

I discovered something very useful today... Commuting for 1.5 hours, including walking 3 Kms to school, although is generally a hellish experience... can be somewhat alleviated, IF you have something plugging up your ears... Yes folks... I've discovered the one BEST use for an mp3 player... to keep your ears plugged while you commute... God created mp3 players to sooth worn commuting souls. Or maybe the devil created it to lure us into a false sense of comfort, maybe even a false sense of musical NEED... doesn't matter... It keeps my mind off the hellish commute hours.

Thief Thief

Ahaha. When I got out of the Katipunan Station today, a small crowd was gathered around a man, who was belly down on the floor, with his hands above his head. It was really awkward, kasi there was another man, who had one foot on the first man's back, and had a gun pointed at the first man's head. I then discovered that the first man was a thief. I had never seen a thief encounter before, so naturally I made uzi uzi there. :p The thief was trembling talaga... he was crying at one point I believe... and we just watched him there... To those who watched the movie "The Gathering" Which is about the crowd who watched Jesus die on the cross... they did nothing but stare, and so as a curse, they were to spend eternity watching the misfortunes of man. Wala lang. Just thought about the movie... I was just excited to see the Police at work.

Nationalism is Weird

They play the Lupang Hinirang every 8:30 AM in Ateneo... pero you can barely hear it... so by the time we stand up, all we hear is... "ang mamatay ng dahil sayo!!!" So medjo sayang pagtayo namin... anyway... Nationalism is weird, kasi it requires so much of the people, yet... it's kinda ethnocentric and demeaning to other nationalities... lalang... Nationalism as a hinderance to globalization (ano Anjo, payag ka jan!?) Just thinking out loud...

Bible Study

Last Friday... Tina invited me to lunch in Cervini Cafeteria (which is kinda layo from the Loyola Schools mind you.) When I arrived, she waited 10 minutes, then left for her Physical Therapy Session... and kinda demanded me to stay in Cervini with one of her friends... We got along well (hahaha Anime freaks one and all..) When suddenly, a group of Conyotique sorta people started arriving... then Tina's friend started introducing me to everyone... I felt awkward na... kasi I thought I was intruding into Tina's friends' barkada... so as I was about to leave, one of them said: "Okay guys, lets begin! Turn your Bibles to Mark 10, verse 12." My eyes widened like "What the Fa!?!?!" Bible Study group pala... medjo Protestant Bible group at that.. but I stayed on... and found it to be... uplifting... This isn't an org or anything. This is just a bunch of students who came together to read and understand the Bible... Cool... so I've decided to join them every Friday from now on :p. Thanks Lord... for the surprise... such an uplifting, and wonderful surprise :).

Cats!

They're killing ALL the cats in Ateneo. That's because some rich Be-atch got bitten. It probably wasn't even the cat's fault... cat's don't bite unless you provoke them. Our pastor nga in our bible study said that whoever that be-atch was, he'd hit her with the word of God! (It's a farce... he meant hitting her with God's word, and with a literal thich, leather bound bible.) Anyway... as a personal form of protest, I went around school with a gigantic sign on my chest bearing the words, "Meow Meow." It was kinda a sucess, since a lot of people kinda joined my cause, or became aware of the injustices against Ateneo's cat population! Human or no human, those cats are ateneans too!!!!

Philosopher Gregory House (M.D.)

Something struck me when I watched House season 2...

House: "The Universe ALWAYS settles the score."

Cuddy: "Really?"

House: "No, but it should."

That's so true isn't it...

Ressurection again

OMG... I have not updated in waay too long.... it's probably because 3 hours of my relax time has been devoted to commuting, and my 3 hour break is my study time... coz when I get home... I fall asleep agad... anyway.... nothing new.... just want to keep this thing alive long enough to live, until I can finally update properly...

Life So Far

I'm kinda back...

I'm doing fine, to all who are wondering what has happened to me. I've udjusted somehow, and have found some new friends :) which by the way took a gigantic leap of faith. I just want to share some pictures I took... although there aren't any people, as I don't like taking portaits, but I hope you enjoy the scenery as much as I love taking pictures of it. Initially though, I want to discuss how my life has been so far... I know I am in no position to discuss school life, but humour me...

Ahhh... Chem... Chemistry has never been one of my strong points... but I try, I try. I'm doing okay... I got high in my previous exams, but the work is still hell. Patutor nalang guys... I still need help e.

CTC-JGSOM... the best looking building around...

The air is doing me good. :) I actually fell asleep under a tree... and found a group of people laughing at me when I had awoken... Someone must have taken my picture asleep under that tree... so watch out for that in the internet... or even me in a snore video...

Every Other Time

I Love Life! I hope my euphoric streak keeps on! I LOVE LIFE!!! Gets nyo ba yung Every Other Time? as in I love life... every other time? HAHAHA WOOOH!!!! Atenean life gives no consolation. Essays again and again.....

Paradoxical

The results of my Learning Type test came out recently, and as expected... I'm a global, visual, and am a doer. This basically means I should (theoretically) love lab. I do love lab. I loved all the Biolab subjects in LS, but what I didn't like was that they kind of turned lab into lecture when they put in 110 item test on memorization. Chem lab here in Tene is kinda fun... Instead of having Long Quizzes that rack your brain out, they have practical tests with a theoretical backing... Just to prove how much it works for me, I've perfected all my lab activities (in record time) and my quizzes (except one... which was theoretical) My point though isn't the current boastful tone, but rather the fact that I'm doing well in lecture too... (or am I?) I find the quizzes easy, but hey... She hasn't returned any papers yet... I'm actually updating for updating's sake...

P.S. The Word Verification on this post is "setot." It sounds weird...

I just have to share this...

I just have to share... I like going around the underground society (sometimes elitistic) blogs... passed by a few commenting on the "Bench Fever" fashion show... then I saw this...

Arabiana Banana said... Ok Bench is really popular , I only found out a couple of days ago that it was 100% Filpino. Bench- Ben Chan -- get it? love their scents and colognes. 2 things that still amaze me :1. How naked bodies sell clothes..2. Gays in the philippines and why we love them. Rasheed love your world.. it almost exactly like mine :) Mon Jul 03, 10:14:50 PM AST

Karvonen said... There is no question about it, Filipinos are a very beautiful race. Maybe also the fact that their economy tends to be depressed, some of her beautiful women are shamelessly used in human trafficing. If this is the case, we can say that the beauty can be a curse. Tue Jul 04, 07:41:57 AM AST

okay...

And this from Jessica Zafra herself... "In the Superheroes section Wendell Ramos played Superman and "flew" on wires. That's three Bench shows where we've seen Wendell's ass, we're being haunted."

"Richard Gomez ended the show, walking onstage in a native American headdress and pants with cutouts while they played Do You Believe in Love—nobody told him he was dressed as Cher."

This one from chuvaness.livejournal.com: "Keanna's breasts arrived at 2 pm.and Keanna Reeves arrived at 2:15." I love these critical people... este critics... :) Its fun seeing them bicker online... Its funny. second point... is this all the Philippines has to offer? whores, naked bodies, and fags? not to mention nice asses.... whatever... It's just a weird day...

Takeru Kobayashi

Eating Champion.

He Swallows too. AHAHAHAHAHAH

Lonely...

always will be. T*ngina niyo rin.

Introducing...

change of Blog... or at least I'm putting up a blog extension. The mediocre stuff I put here, and the essays which I will force myself to write... will be in http://terminalstation.blogspot.com or http://terminalstation.tk but I personally prefer blogspot...

Give in to the Beat of the Drums

Friday was a memorable day for me. My very first Cheer Rally. When the drums began to play... I was lost in their beating... When your heartbeat dissoves into the drumbeat... then you feel that one moment of zen... "I am where I belong" you finally say... I am where I belong...

Paano bumili sa Sari-Sari store ang isang Atenista?

Pabilioh!

Ice Cream!

God... went to Shakeys KAtips for lunch kanina! Finally got to meet Tin, and so we took lunch (in Shakey's nga.) We had Mojos and Pizza as usual... and we ordered the I ce Cream Bar special thingy... It was MASSIVE! Tina piled the ice cream platter to almost half a meter high! SO MUCH Ice cream! I wanted to puke! we didn't finish it pa naman... anyway... today is enjoyable. :)

Atenean day something...

Today was weird. Ateneans are weird. I'm weird. I was walking along College Lane kanina, and I was turning into the Rizal library, I saw a guy in a bear suit walking in front of Faura Hall! Nakakatawa kasi walking paangas boy pa siya, tapos naka bear suit... tapos sa Caf... I was eating peacefully, biglang may pumasok sa Caf ng mga 5 tao, tapos bigla silang sumayaw sa gitna ng Caf... as in Correographed pa nad everything... talagang weird...

All The World's a Stage

Again... do ko kaya sila pagalitan... haaay nako... I'm such a pushover... softhearted and shit. HAAY basta... as of my last visit to La Salle... I'm sorry for acting the way I did... I wasn't myself... depressed ako nun... super... kaya nga binisita kayo para maka smile uli ako :) ingatz nlang... Anjo, wag kang maingay sa nabasa mo.... please...

mas mahaba pa to dati... super mas mahaba...

Anime Time!

Since It's Godzirra! Godzirra! lets go all out Japan!!! Fave Animes of all Time: 1. Fushigi Yuugi (who could hate it right?) 2. Dual! (It was a short Anime shown only in AXN for a short time, but I LOVED IT. It was our anime :) Za and I. explain next time :).) 3. Chobits!!! (It was just so surrealistically real, and the tone was perfect :) I loved it.) 4. Midori Days (although It's only 13 episodes long, I wouldnt mind watching it over and over again.) 5. Full Metal Alchemist (RoCkS! It's just dark and sadistic enough to pique my interest, yet not gorey enough to disgust me :) A masterpiece in mystery themed animes!) 6. Ultra Maniac (a feel good anime :) the ending is worth the long wait :) I was practically bawling at the end.) 7. Yakitate Japan! (You watch this on Hero TV... jologs right? but hey! I love the funny parts! Many many funny parts! especially with the clown HAHAHA.) 8. Cooking Master Boy (HAHAHAHA never missed an episode :) loved how people suddenly become dragons, or sail through space... HAHHAHA) 9. Magic Knight Rayearth (OMG!!!! my first favorite anime! I love MKR... Emeraulde!!!) 10. Samurai X (need I say more? :)

The Long Sleeve Experiment (MLSE)

Okay... I was wearing a long sleeved green and blue sweater/polo (absolutely fabulous!) from Polo (registered trademark) today... the problem was... it was 2 sizes to big, so the sleeves covered my hands. This was cool, since I got to act like geisha boy or somewhat, but whenever I would raise my hand and shake my wrist as to pull the sleeve (or rather allow the sleeve to slide) downward, a person would always look at me funny and wave at me. That was weird... all day, as I shook my wrist to pull the sweater down, people would wave at me... It was funny... They thought I was waving at them. :) Weird people Atenistas are (Yoda talk right there)...

Godzirra! Godzirra!

Welcome to the new Layout for Mickeyspot... Godzirra! Godzirra! Inspired by Japanese Pop culture, Godzirra! Godzirra! is something I did in the bathroom. enjoy :D

Si Thea Kasi

I've been tagged by Thea hindi ko kasi ma copy yung rules from thea's page... so bisitahin nyo nlang blog nya :D the people concerned I mean...

1. when I use a toilet cubicle/urinal, I always flush my cubicle/urinal, and the 2 cubicles/urinals directly adjacent to me.

2. when I cook a recipe from a cook book, I always stain the page where I got the recipe with sauce, or oil residue from the dish.

3. whenever I go in a video store, the first thing I look for is the movie "Trip."

4. I spell theatre with an e at the end.

5. I sleep facing the wall. If there is no wall, I put a pillow in front of my face to "make" a wall.

6. I dont use gtg as my IM signoff, I use htg (have to go)

Piniritong Kamote

Hey... Atenean day 2... anyway... I couldn't help but notice how totally different Atean life is from La Sallian life. The obvious differences are there, there's the Lingua Franca, which is English in Ateneo and seemingly Taglish (or Enggalog?) in La Salle. There's also the fact that in La Salle, people were more... uncivilized. (Still mad at the Eng boys for being soooo KAPAL.) It's not that La Sallians have no manners, rather they have a great amount, even more than FEU, but as from what I have experienced so far, Ateneans seem more dignified... they have that certain gene se qua (naks fave word)or maybe I'm just biased because I'm adjusting pretty well (better than back in DLS.) Don't worry though, I still love you guys (LS peeps) and will forever cherish the values of Religio, Mores, and Cultura. (ANo yon!?!?) Speaking of Cultura, my professor in Socio-Anthro said something about "Piniritong Kamote." I was so shocked to hear that... "Piniritong Kamote." I don't know why, maybe it's a culural thing or a sort of "getting used to the word" thing. I'm used to the word Camoteque (is that a word?) or Kamote fries, so Piniritong Kamote sounds alien to me. How was all that conected to Cultura? I have no idea... cultural differences? Also on cultural differences... (back to the DLSU Ateneo thing) I noticed that even in such a prestigious (and proud) university such as the Ateneo, people still like drawing phalluses on their tables and chairs... What's a phallus? Titi! Gago! TITI!!!! anyway... but there's a difference here... the inscription on my desk (not by me) is of a phallus, and the words... "You to me are everything, the sweetest song that I can sing." That was freaky... Poetic pagkakalibog. It's really conyotique Filipino when you look at it... the phallic symbol is a Filipino classic, when it comes to vandalizing your chair, but adding a poem (or was it a song?) dedicated to the Phallus... in ENGLISH! Thats a whole new, not in La Salle sort of level. Back to the point of graffitti, aside from the phallus, another figure which seems to be popularly drawn (on tables) is the figure of a sad emo person... or sadako... or the grudge kid... or........ Chinchan? wtf... big words and names of organizations seem to be a popular form of graffitti. (lagot ka ADS...) Jump topic! Back to something related to the phallus... the toilet bowl. I finally feel I belong here, and would you like to know why? THEY FLUSH!!!! People actually flush the toilet! They do! I'm SO HAPPY!!!!! I belong here! I love this place... so far :D and I an finally say what I have wanted to say for so long... "Padrawing nman sa upuan o." "Titi mo!" HAHAHAHA!!! don't mind me... I'm weirder... now... more than ever... sorry nga pala kina Fionna at Talitha that I wasn't able to go yesterday :( nakatulog ako e.... sowee....

All About Chemistry

More LRT stories... which are gay...and which involves me in a compromising position... because it's so sikip... This time naman, naka lean ako sa wall, tpos may guy na FEU person na pumasok... e sumikip ng sumikip... at yun... yung isang kamay nya, nasa side ng ulo ko, at magkaharap kaming dalawa. Parang pinin ako sa wall. Kadiri tlaga sa LRT... e may kayakap pa akong mga libro... at naka long sleeve sweater pa ako na white... so muhka kaming school girl being pinned down by jock. EWW talaga... ako pa talaga yung plagi nsa girlash position... AYOKO NA MAG LRT... nagmumukha akong Doll House member. E I was reading Carl Jung pa... If Freud is a super SEX!!!! Psychologist, Jung relates everything to Homosexuality... It was intresting, yet... nakakatawa kasi may ka "yakap" nga akong FEU person.... Ay, btw... first day ko ng Chemistry ngaun. Pero hindi yan rason kung bakit Chemistry blog song ko :D (Yihee mahilig sa mga Chinito at FEUans Yihee... ayoko na tlaga sa LRT.) Anyway... chem teacher is funny... "Chemistry studies Matters." Gusto ko tuloy itaas kamay ko at itanong kung ano stand niya sa Pro-whaling law ng Japan at Norway... "Matters" ba daw... basta yun... day 1 ng Ateneo... nag Diagnostic test ako sa Filipino... If I fail that, demote ako sa Fil10 from Fil11... HAHAHAHA see you guys sa Fil10!!!! HAHAHAH HIRAP!!!!!

Love and the LRT

I am now a regular commuter. I know the rush feeling you get while riding the LRT, and like most LRT fanatics... I have a funny story to tell... Funny in a morbidly serious way... I almost had my first kiss in the train today... We entered the train both in the D. Jose station, and were brought together by the crushing bodies surrounding us... We were stuck together. Then my phone rang... I bent down to retrieve my phone, which was in my lower pocket, and as I brought myself back up, I was brought face to face... and our lips were an inch apart... P0+@#!!!!!! I almost kissed that chinese La Sallian GUY! ewwww!!!! WTF!!!!!! It was so awkward! We kept on avoiding each others' gaze until we both got off at the Vito Cruz station! I was so embarassed!

E di wag.

NR. Wala na akong magagawa para sa problema niyo.

WALA NA.

14 km division tayo!

Atenean Day 1

Actually today was ORSEM day 2, but since I forgot yesterday was ORSEM day 1 (:D) ... I went today, and I'll go tomorrow for day 3. It was.... AWESOME!!!!! Walang binatbad LPEP natin! I'm saying that with no bias whatsoever! WALA TALAGA! It was soooo fun! When we entered the venue at about 8, the TnT (equivalent ng LAmb) were all standing on chairs waving the block placards and dancing... all of them were swaying and dancing in perfect harmony! Not to mention most of the TnT's were attractive (HOT! in Thea terms). So it looked like one gigantic strip club. After the morning formalities the Blue Babble Batallion performed the classic Ateneo cheers. They suck. The DLSU pep is WAAAAY better. Whats weird is that when we started cheering, I was relly kinikilig... I guess I'm just excited... We then had a classroom session, and then the "Run Like Hell Around Campus Tour." f*ck that.... we had unlimited Coke Light, Coffee, and Lipton Iced Tea though :D. We were sponsored by sponsored by Havaianas (av-eye-annas) btw... and there was a 7-11 booth in the gym especially for us :)! Our nametags were cool too! I'll scan and show ya guys next time!

Balik Broadband

FINALLY!!!! after a week of no broadband! BROADBAND AGAIN!!!!! WOOOH MY INTERNET'S FAST BABY!!!!!

Lazy Days

I'll be distributing the "Lazy Days" CD soon... for you guys :) ppt sya... na pinaghirapan ko... for you...

Too Many Chances

Current blog song is "Selfish" by I forgot who... anyway, I picked this song because of one line... my favorite line... "No sense of reason." I have too much time on my hands. I can't sleep, because I feel as if I've accomplished nothing this summer... I need to get back to school now! I want to suffer the "slings and arrows" of Atenean academe... I have done nothing but think back on my time in existence... I'm bored. No sense of reason... btw, I'll be putting up the new Manila! Manila! layout soon... you guys are gonna find it weird, yet oddly satifying.

Degenerative Little Me

Okay... When my grandfather asked me how I could best describe my childhood, I replied "Depraved." I meant it when I said depraved... I didn't mean deprived, I meant depraved. I know I'm an unappreciative person... I don't know how to show proper thanks... but how can I, when there's no one to thank.

Two Years Later

"It's like I've been taking so many chances, that I feel as if I'm nothing like who I was two years ago, and I'm scared... Nothing's what it used to be... everything I've gotten myself into is unfamilliar, everything I've done in the name of getting used to change... it seems it's all too much for me to handle... I'm sad, because nothing's left of my old life... and I can't look back..." Thats what I told my mom on my way back home from my final validation day in Ateneo... As usual she wasn't listening, and I was left thinking for myself... I'm not who I was back in fourth year... You don't know what it feels like, realizing you have taken so many chances, that you don't know where you are anymore... All my ride hopping has landed me someplace unfamilliar, and it's only now I realize I'm lost. What else can I do though... I guess I have to take more chances... vicious circle people... I'm just along for the ride.

Tangled Up in You

It's 6-6-06 today... The devil's day... According to the psychopaths who keep on emailing me "Feng-Sui tips on surviving the day of reckoning." My day was reminiscent... actually, the past four days were spent reminiscing... I got my physical check-up yesteday, and I my doctor says: "Diet na ha?" okay... will do... I thought I had to get nakee in front of the doctor for the prostate and genetalia check, but he spared himself the pain of seeing naked fat boy. All he did was ask whether I had nodes in my ass, and if my balls were bouncing right. Just to show how scared of the doctor I was, my blood pressure shot to 190 over 90... So the doctor's killing me... I went to CSA (my highschool) for my medical records after the check up, so I went to the CSA clinic. The nurses are nicer to alumni than to students... weird... I got my records, and while I was there, I asked Mr. Libao (Eco Teach) if Ms. Binas (Christian Living Teach) really died, and where was her wake... I discovered it's in Agoo... wow... anyway, my 4th year adviser also entered the clinic, and upon seeing me, left promptly. Thats a good thing... I hated his guts... After leaving the Clinic, I decided to check up on the new St. Augustine Hall (Theatre) while I was there... I wanted to marry the place... It was so beautiful... I went home, and an hour later I was back in the car... We were tasked to look for a cheap hotel for a friend. We proceeded to Malate to look (since most pension houses are there.) We walked along all my old hangouts, and I couldn't help but think back on my Malate days... I miss my boys... Thought: Malate is Philippine Bohemia! You won't believe how many arts and craft stores there are in Malate. We finally found a hotel... in Makati... wow... We then proceeded home, and then out again at 10:30... We picked our friends up at the airport, but we had to wait till' 11:30. We finally got home at 12:15... The song "Bad Day" was playing on the radio... then I remembered today is 666... Today was okay... I returned to CSA for a "missa pro defunctis" or mass for the dead. It's obviously for miss Binas, but what makes it even more special is that it was orchestrated by her advisory class 2 years ago. So sweet. I remember Ms. Binas last words to our class "I'm your teacher, not your friend." That hurt me, but I respect her memory... Anjo emailed me... I haven't read it yet... I'm scared...

:(

I'm a little jealous I'll admit... but if it makes you happy... I'll step down... just promise me you'll do better with them... I pray you'll find happiness... you deserve it... I'm just hurt that you didn't trust me enough to tell me before... so I guess we're even... this is awkward... bye...

Wats Up?

Aaah... whats up... I'm doing the Sociologist act again, by presenting to you guys Ibsy's Pseudo-science thought... and my view on it... (Updated every 2 days yan... ) and I changed the blog song to "Collide" as my tribute to my everyday pilgrimage to the Ateneo... (fuckin annoying!!!!)

Representative Ideals Part I: Ibsy's theory and contesting Pseudo-sciences

The Philosopher Ibsy had a thought one fine GENPSYC class, which he shared with me... the thought of "pseudo-sciences," of different eras of human existence, and how Psychology could be this era's pseudo-science. He defined a pseudo-science as a science, or a basic philosophy that was mainly in use during a certain time. This definition of course is crude, because our discussion was only in passing. He gave the example of humanism in ancient Greece. All their achievements were based on humanism, a sort of homocentric view of the world led to all their achievements (Philosophies on living, and society, and artistic and intellectual achievement.) Another example he gave was that of Alchemy (or chemistry) and Mercantile. Mercantile dictated the holistic growth of society during the Industrial Revolution. We can safely connect the achievements of the Industrial Revolution as being a direct consequence of Mercantilistic ideas and theories. As for the modern age, Capitalism is the pseudo-science, as most of today's achievements are blatantly based on Capitalistic ideals. but Ibsy said we could replace the existing pseudo-science with Psychology as the new pseudo-science.

I fully agree with the division of human eras according to pseudo-sciences, as there is much evidence to support it. I do contest though, the use of the term "pseudo-science." The term literally means false sciences, as Ibsy took into thought the idea that Alchemy, Morality and Philosophy are not sciences. From what I see, the term pseudo-science doesn't fit, because of certain specific reasons, such as that Economics is a social science, and Economics dictated the pseudo-sciences of Mercantile and Capitalism. Another point is that Imperialism and Expansionism, which are two of the most influential pseudo-sciences are under Political Science. Alchemy, which he contested against it's being a science, was the direct anscestor of modern Chemistry. Chemistry brought about the study of Alchemy, and Alchemy was based on natural laws (or in trying to break them) so we can safely assume that it was somehow a science. With these in mind, I would use the term "representative ideals" instead of the term pseudo-science. I use the term representative ideals because it involves all the aspects of the "Pseudo-sciences." The word Ideals take into spect Philosophies, Social Sciences, Natural Sciences, and Moral Ideals. The word representative gives the term it's essence of dividing human eras by the Ideals of which were most used, or brought the most change. So lets wrap up this chapter with a definition:

Representative Ideals: Ideas, Sciences, or Philosophies that were most used or brought about the most change in human society, and which define a certain era in human existence.

Next Chapter:

Representative Ideals Part II: Eras of Human Existence according to Representative Ideals.

You Don't Know What You've Got 'Till it's Gone...

I'm still bored, as it's still summer.... anyway... I just took 7 tests in the span of 3 days... it was HELL!!! I have to repeat Zoo and Bota... grr.... anyway... I dont have to repeat Alge... and PE and NSTP... and GENPSYC... so Im generally happy... I'm having fun... and I'm missing La Sallian life... I haven't even begun, and I'm already perspiring like a pig... Ciao guys... pray I get my other subjects credited... PRAY HARD... SOUTH GATE... I miss you...

YUCHENGCO... I miss your toilets...

nagsawa ako sa mukha niyo ng isang taon... HAHAHAHHA

Mensaje de Gato, Mensaje por Gato

hola miguel.. :) this was a note i was supposed toleave on your blog, but apparently, i do not knowhow to do that. haha :) it's been a long time sincewe last talked.. last time i saw you, you just satand ran from our expsyla class... wasn't even ableto say goodbye.. (well, i didn't know you weretransferring till i asked where you were) anyway, iwon't hold it against you. :) you have quite a fewmore weeks to enjoy your freedom (while we beginbeing roasted in hell by our chem prof) beforeclasses in the other side of the world begins :) itrully wish you the best.. i know this has been yourlong term dream.. and now it is very close tobecoming a reality :) keep posting bout your soonto be life in the blue world. i enjoy your rants(?), iread them when i run out of things to do on thenet. hehehe :) and remember, AMDG, Ad MajoremDei Gloriam :) ALWAYS for the greater glory ofGod. :) i know you will do well in Ateneo. just don'tforget to look back once in a while :) we will missyou. :) take care over there (i mean, in riding theLRT). till then :) adios miguel.. yo te echo demenos.. -gato

You probably didnt recieve my birthday song... we kept sending it all day... ayaw mag send... (then we realized kasi sun ayaw ng mms) pakinggan mo nlang sa phone ni Sanny :D. Anyway... sorry I lied... didn't mean to... I never really thought I'd pass... again... sorry I didnt tell you... didnt want to... 'cause I told you I wont... I was ashamed of my own dishonesty... sorry for the ranting... I didnt realize... I know it was a real nuisance... thanks for listening... I honestly respected you among all the others, since you understood from the beginning... sorry I burdened you... thanks for everything... I dont need to wish you luck, since you will go far on your own... very far... I will wish you one heartfelt Godspeed... I'll always look back... every wednesday... Thea made me... I'll miss you too... among all my Lasallian friends, you listened... everyone else talked... :p remember also, The simple star that represents the La Sallian system, the "Signum Fidei." It's a symbol that binds both the Christian Brothers, and the Jesuits together... Although it is exclusively a La Sallian symbol, what it represents is what really matters... It represents Love. It is a sign of God's undying love for his children. It represents one's love of his fellowmen. It represents selflessness, a drive to improve human lives, especially among the poor and outcasts, and to bring the Gospel principles to present-day culture. These things are shared... Both orders were established for this purpose, and in this way, we are never really far apart... as long as we love others... What the Signum Fidei represents is what's best in humans... It may even represent what makes us human... I'm ranting again.. Yo tambien... Yo echo de menos tambien... -Miguel

Soy Atenista

Kasama na rin ako jan... I promised two things to God today... One, is that I would really work hard, so I can get a cum laude... and secondly, that I would join Gawad Kalinga Ateneo. :D AMDG! (Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam)

Mickeyspot: Retrospect

Dear Reader,

The month of May marks my first year anniversary of blogging. I began on May 12, 2005 with the pilot post "I am Small." Now one year later, and 320 posts long, I look back and realize how much of a help blogging has been in the last year. I have successfully brought out to the viewing public what makes me who I am. I don't usually post about the mundane everyday goings on that really mean nothing to my holistic development, but rather, I post about things that truly matters in my life. Everything I have written down in 320 posts either exposes who I truly am, or shows how something has shaped me. I have given you, dear reader, something that no one else can give you. I have given you a precious gift. I have given you the gift of learning from the experience of an 18 year old. It's not much. It is merely a shade compared to the great autobiographic works of the greats, but I bring this all out with the hope that somehow, somewhere within the pages of this work, you may find someting useful. It has been a great pleasure writing for you all. This blog, and you dear reader, have helped me understand myself by being an active part of my everyday life. Your reactions, your replies, and your continued patronage, drive me to carefully discern each detail of what has been a year of blogging. I see a gradually changing being, one that still has the naivity of youth in his blood, but with the continuing aid of my friends, and through the reactions and replies of my dear readers... I have found a better path to follow. Thank you all.

I began with these words:

I AM SMALL

I cried out for help:

Friends... where are you now...

I adapted:

Carl Carlo Karlo Anjo Kris Jeddy Nepo Martin Talitha Sanny Tove Ruja Leah Fionna Kat Thea Yeng Keisha Red Abby Hannah Anica... Hey, I'm Mickey. Love y'all.

I fell back:

ONE BIG FIGHT!

I thought:

Only we have limitless chances given to us. All we have to do is take a chance. Be human.

They all mourn your death, and they, not knowing your atheism, think you're going to heaven. How about you... where did you think you had gone to?

They can come up with all these high folluting definitions, but in the end, it is you, and your feeling that is important. No definition necessary.

I laughed:

I feel like writing today... so if you don't like it, sue me. It feels like a parody day, so I'll make today parody day!!!

I loved:

Thanks for everything, za...

I've lost:

She represented the best of our family. I love her. I will never forget her.

He died this morning... He lasted the night...

Ive discovered what it feels to be human.

You are important to me, but I have to let you go.

All in all.... I have so much to be thankful for... "Be Human."

P.S. before Goodbye

I STILL EXIST OKAY? SO WHENEVER YOU NEED ME, JUST CALL. The last thing I would want is to lose your friendships... Talk to me when you need anything... anything at all...

Sacrificing Not in Vain

"Yeah. Life's full of what ifs, no? Oh well... we're still here for you Mic. You are still a La Sallian through and through... Thanks for the laughs, the conversations, and the times we've spent together. Hey, you've finally reached the dream you were working on... only there are sacrifices to be made... Make us proud Mic... Para we'll know that we were worth the sacrifice... Love ya Mic. :)" -Sanny

I seriously don't know anymore... It seemed to be worth it back then, but now... It all seems too painful... My La Sallian chapter may have ended with the submission of my transfer credentials, but my Atenean life begins with the signing of my transfer form... You're right... It was a dream... my dream came true... so, why did Cinderella seem happier that I am? This is a sad, twisted fairytale... when effort begets pain... I will keep my promise though... I will make you proud... I am still a La Sallian... and I will be one till I die... I don't know what the future holds, and in reality... I am dreading whats beyond the Atenean door... If I could do it all again... I would have done things differently...

Today's my last official day as a La Sallian... I have spent one year as a man in green... I wouldn't say it was all fun, and I wouldn't say it was all pain, but I know one thing... That initial step out of South Gate was the hardest thing I ever had to do... I was crying while I exited La Salle one last time... To my friends... especially the Orgees and Anjo... I have something to say... We may not see much of each other from now on... I know I promised U-break visits, but those are easily broken by the harshness of academic life... I have my faults, and I may sometimes forget some things that had to do with out friendships, but as a whole, I will never forget you... you were the only ones who made me feel happy... made me feel accepted... If I could do it all again, I'd have done things differently... If I had known, I would have foregone the test in order to stay with you... I can't stop my tears from falling... I know this will pass, but as of yet... I feel like I have committed the greatest mistake in my life... I never wanted to let any of you go... Unfortunately, I learned too late... I will miss you all....

No Longer a La Sallian

I submitted my transfer form at 11:30. As of that time, May 15, 2006... I am no longer a La Sallian...

Me

"I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind. I'm tired of looking 'round rooms, wondering what I've got to do or who I'm supposed to be. I don't want to be anything other than me."

I AM ME! Thanks everyone for understanding.

Time To Say Goodbye...

"Time to say goodbye. Paesi che non ho maiveduto e vissuto con te,adesso sì li vivrò.Con te partiròsu navi per mariche, io lo so,no, no, non esistono più,it's time to say goodbye. "

I have something to admit to. I am a liar. I never meant to hurt any of you... and I hope that I never did. I know you all know what this is about. Some of you knew since May 5th, and to most... and those I consider dearest, most beloved of them all... know not as of yet. It's time to leave... but as says this song... "Time to say goodbye. Places that I've never seen or experienced with you. Now I shall, I'll sail with you upon ships across the seas, seas that exist no more, it's time to say goodbye." Never think that you were never worth my staying. This is an experience we will share. I don't want to sever my ties with you. I must though, complete what took me two years to work for. I started it, and it has to be done. My heart aches. Letting go was never a strong point. Your hand, I must let go of, but your essence remains within me. The time we spent will not be wasted. The things I do now... cannot be undone. I don't need to say much, except that I will miss you all. As I put on my rubbershoes and walk towards the Taft LRT station each day, I will look out the window, and for a few seconds, reminisce each day on everything I've experienced. You have gained immortality in the matter of my being. You may not miss me, as you will only think back and breathe a few reminiscent breaths, but as I've said once before... You are important to me.

You can start cancelling your debut invitations now :)

...

In Memory of Arcs... We never really knew him well, but as he was kind to our friend, and our friend loved him, and loves him still... we join Arc's family and friends in praying for his soul.

Eternal rest grant unto his soul Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen.

Happy Birthday Kat!!!!

Happy B-day Kat!!!! You're 18 na!!! legal na!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!!

Stories

I had to finish my transfer requirements today so I went to the different offices concerned to have my papers signed. First lets look at what I needed as per requirements, or at least the most significant to this story:

a. signature of the Vice-Dean

b. signature of the accounting office

c. course description of every course I have ever taken. Which I get from all the departments involved.

Anyway, my story begins at the Vice-Dean's office after lunch... I give my transfer paper to the secretary, and she says in an oober taray voice: "Vice-Dean ang last na magsasign." So, I go about having my paper signed and when I give it to the accounting lady, she says: "Ano to? andaming kulang! Ipasign mo muna sa iba! kami last." Eh? labo... anyway, i continued going around the world, then I returned to the accounting office (inuna ko na bago Vice-Dean) I had 3 blanks left, one for PE (which I didn't need because I had no more PE classes) one for Biology Lab (again no need coz no Lab) and Computer Lab (duh.) anyway... she signed it without question, but when I returned to the Vice-Dean to have it signed, the secretary again makes an ass of herself... "Andaming kulang! Vice-Dean ang LAST na magsasign! Ano to! Bio Lab! Computer Lab! Ipasign mo nga muna!" She pissed me off... who was she, feeling Vice-Dean? Ako naman, I wanted to have a bit of fun, so sinigawan ko rin siya (much to her surprise) "Eh HELLO! I have no computer lab!" (I copied her accent as well as to thoroughly insult her) "Wala ring tao sa Bio Labs ko! plus walang PE dept pag summer! Don't you know that!" So nagretaliate naman siya (futile efforts puny secretary HAHAHAH) she said "Imposible na wala kang computer lab man lang!" Being the total ass that I truly am, I retorted: "I have no computer lab nga! WALAAAAAA! (long AAA) NNNNOOOOOONNNNEEEEE!" I had finally triumphed... she looked at me funny, and stormed into the Vice-Deans office, coming out with my form. HAHAHAHA! NEXT!!! Later in the afternoon, I had to collent all the course descriptions... MOST of which took 15 minutes or more because of those HELLISH SECRETARIES!!!! I now earnestly believe that secretaries belong with Judas and Count Fabricio in the lowest circle of hell. Anyway... guess which department was the most incompetent... as in the WHOLE staff snobbed me... guess... It was the Theology and Religious Education department... 30 f-ing minutes... Whats really annoying is that when I entered the department, the first thing the secretary told me was: "I'm talking to someone, go ask someone else to help you." How very Catholic of her... anyway... another annoyance was the Psych department... the Secretary looks at me funny, and when I asked for a syllabus, she tells me to wait for Dr. Calueng (Chair) Which is funny because the initial 5 times I went in there to ask for a syllabus, Dr. Calueng told me to wait for the secretary... anyway... Dr. "Melo" finally arrived, and the secretary asked her, "O ano sir, bibigyan ba natin to ng syllabus?" I wanted to laugh... what was that, a game show? Tell the transferee what he won!!! If secretaries belong to the lowest circle of hell, she belongs there too, but she should be the one being personally bitten by the devil. (Sorry for the harsh sacrelige...) The Philosophy dept. secretary also kept me waiting... and just as I was about to give up hope, I closed my eyes and shouted "That secretary is KILLING ME!!!" When I reopened my eyes, who was there coming towards me but the secretary herself! (speak of the devil...) That was embarrasing... She looked at me funny, and I then followed her back to the department, where she gave me my course description... Today was fun... I got to fight off some secretaries...

SuNsHiNe!!!

Lets all soak it up! May kausap ako kanina... sabi niya "Lalake ka talaga." Sabi ko, "bat mo nasabi?" Sabi niya, "Kasi... wala lang... di ka pwedeng bakla... d ka papasa... below standards." Ahh ganun... okay lang... wala akong dream maging federasyon member.

To y'all with nothing to do...

get a haircut, start up your camera phone and have fun.

I'm bored out of my wits! I swear, taking summer classes was a HUGE mistake. I want my summer back!!!!!

Understand Me

I found out I passed Ateneo yesterday, as most of you now know. The first to congratulate me was Jeddy, then Sanny, then Thea and Yeng. Learning I had passed was among the happiest of times in my life... To bad my family had to shake up my happiness... I tell my mom, and she tells me that we'll talk about it later. I tell my abuelo, and he gives me a long speech on "You'll regret it someday." I call my cousins to ask if they can go to Ateneo to ask some questions. The mere mention of Ateneo, and they never return call. The next morning, my mom calls my ate, and I tell her I passed. She says, "Wow, congrats! Listen, I have an idea... Instead of transferring why don't you cross register instead?" My answer was, because if I do cross register, I'll graduate with a Lasallian diploma. That's something I try to avoid. Then my ate starts questioning me through my mom... and whenever I answer, she reiterates using a mamsy pamsy babyish voice... That ticked me off... That was the last straw... I got a congratulations from all my friends, and all my family can do is say, "okay... that's nice... try cross enrolling :D!" MY ASS! YOU NEVER APPRECIATED ALL THE WORK I PUT INTO THIS! I FOUGHT VEHEMENTLY FOR THIS, AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS SAY NO!?!?!? UNDERSTAND ME! I WOULDN'T FIGHT THIS HARD IF I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO! All I needed was a congratulations, and your understanding... Instead, you MOCK me. Even my own mother... I worked hard... I understand you guys... you guys don't understand me... If ever the cross enroll instead of transfer comes into earshot again, I'll really bite back. I'll transfer, then cross enroll in Lasalle. YOU GUYS are the ones who continually PUSH ME TOWARDS ATENEO. I was set on staying in La Salle, until you started badgering me.

Stat

I am kinda booooored, ang iinet, akoy nababato bato nababato... (to the tune of knocks me off my feet)

Culmination

It Culminates Today.

Months of Preparation, Planning, and Prayer.

Years of Hoping.

One Day.

Today marks the culmination of all I've worked for in two years' time. Today's the day... and God granted me what I've wanted most... a second chance...

Ateneo, BS PSYC... here I come.

One Big Fight!

Ateneo!!!!

The Good Atheist

I just have to start ranting. The world is obviously a wonderful place to be, but sometimes the living aspect of earthling-hood can be... dumbfounding... Lets delve deeper into the complex societies of the world... Let's look at one intriguing character in the myriad of world characters... The Good Atheist. What's a Good Atheist? We define a Good Atheist as being an Atheist, who has lived, or is living his/her life in service of others. Good Atheists exist all over the world... They just lay hidden from your better knowledge. Imagine that you're the Good Atheist. How did you become a Good Atheist? Is it even possible for Good Atheists to exist? I mean, if the reason we do good is because we fear the fires of hell, what can possibly motivate a person to do good, if he doesn't believe in a God? It may have been a traumatic experience, or seeing someone in intense pain, or you being in intense pain that caused you to start believing that no one needs to suffer, that's why you help others, or some other psychological factor, or maybe you were just innately good... Whatever the reason, you are good. What caused your disbelief in a divine? Maybe you just haven't ound sufficient proof, but you're open to the matter. That's what true atheism is about... Atheism isn't about hating God, since to hate something, you have to believe in it. You live your life in service of others. You render charity, you inhabit hope, you love unconditionally, and you would never hurt anyone. You are practically a saint, except you lack the divine factor. Then suddenly, you die. Someone steals your bag, and kills you. To you it is all just a part of life... and you wonder, "If God exists, what would he think of my life?" You never told anyone that you were an atheist, since it never really mattered. You were open to religion, but it just never had proof enough for you. Your final breath escapes you... and you lose consciousness. Your carcass is found the next day. They all mourn your death, and they, not knowing your atheism, think you're going to heaven. How about you... where did you think you had gone to?

Isang Patibong

I just have to start ranting. The world is obviously a wonderful place to be, but sometimes the living aspect of earthling-hood can be... dumbfounding... Lets get a little closer to home, specifically the 24 inch television screen your younger sibling is currently watching. He's watching either Naruto, Yugi-Oh, or Mirmo de Pon on HERO TV. You meanwhile are on the computer updating your blog. You act like you're paying full attention to your blogging, but in reality, you can't help but listen to the ongoing conversation between two tagalized japanese people on T.V. Naruto suddenly shouts,

"O, hindi! Isa siyang patibong! Umiwas tayo!"

Doesn't that just hit you? Maybe it's just me, but if I were a ninja kid who wanted to be the next Hokkage (Leader) who would lead and protect my people, I wouldn't warn my constituents about impending danger using a seven word sentence. I'd probably shout "It's a trap!" or some such short verse. If it REALLY had to be in Filipino, I'd probably just shout "Patibong!" If the tagalized Naruto did what he did in reality, all his constituents would have been dead (maybe including him) by the time his sentence ended. Another thing that really annoyed me was the fact he said "Umiwas tayo" at the end of his sentence. HELLO, you have just said there was impending danger. That would be enough, since I'm sure that your constituents being ninjas as well, they would know what to do if there was danger... It's also human nature that when danger arises, you either fight or run, and since you don't know what type of danger it is, you initially run. So saying "Umiwas tayo" is sort of insulting their intelligence. Aaah... back to the initial story... you return to your blogging, trying to forget that although what the tagalized japanese guy said was disturbing, it's just a cartoon. You are in the middle of pondering, when Naruto says something else that just ticks you off.

"Ang sama sama mo! Wala kang kwentang tao! Galit ako sayo!"

Just a note: these quoteables aen't really quoteables... they're just meant to portray generalized tagalized stupidity.

You hear Naruto say that... then you think... If someone had beat up your big japanese ass as badly as Naruto's was, would you really say these things? I wouldn't. Again, there are too many words... I can summarize all eleven words into one, "P0+@ K@!!!" Okay... maybe two words... Then suddenly, Naruto would go into a thinking spree...

"Paano yan? Anong gagawin ko ngayon? Hindi ko siya kakayanin... Baka ito na ang huli kong laban... Hindi! kailangan ko siyang ipaslang!"

Whats that all in... twenty two words? Two things... one, you really don't say all that during a dire situation whether out loud, or in your head. Personally, I would be thinking, "Shit, shit, shit, I have to kick his ass." Another point is if you're raised in a ninja school where sneakiness and concentration is the key, you really don't need to start talking to yourself during battle... Quietness usually means physically and mentally. I think ninjas aren't that eloquent either... or at least eloquent enough to use perfect grammar, and usage, without using cuss words. In a fight to the death, that just seems impossible. Another is when someone is defeated in tagalized anime... They start contemplating again... which is so annoying... "Natalo niya ako, O hindi! Hindi maaari to... aaaghhh..." Isn't that weird? his last words were words of "This can't be happening." It's always like that... especially with really powerful villains. If I were a defeated supervillain uttering my last words, they'd probably be, "PUNIETA KA!!!!" I'm a bad guy aren't I? Anyway... back to the initial story... you are now completely disturbed by tagalized japan guys, and now, you can't concentrate on your blog. You shut down your computer and resign to your fate...

"Bro, panood nga! ano na nangyari kay Naruto?"